Monday, July 26, 2010
26th July 2010 Monday , 9.21p.m
Another 3 and a half hour to 27th July 2010 .. BABY i wish you here a happy 4th month anniverersy .
Quarrel have been going on recently too . But same thing i fall deeper again for you =p . I get to know where is my weakness too . No doubt quarrels i said many hurtful and nasty stuff but end of the day i do think back . I'm sorry honey . I still love you as much . But you ? i don't know but still hoping things will resume like how we were again . Dream of it everyday and night . In the day i will day dream and think of all those, in the night when i fall asleep i dream of all those . Overall i'm happy with you and i love you for who you are. You are special as you are so different from others . Maybe this the reson why i cant let you go either. No doubt the werido things you do , don't express yourself to me , don't even have some sweetness that i always hope but sometimes you do surprise me by your action that i'm totally addicted to you . I BECAME A DRUG ADDICT AND YOUR MY SWEETEST DRUG !
Always remember no matter how we quarrel , i'm always by your side , i always love you and i always miss you =p .. Believe in me . I truly love you .
Will you remember our 4th anni ? =p I wonder when you will give me your full attention . But i hope i can cling on you like a monkey and swing around you like a small kid . =p I love your company and not wanting to lose it ..
I love you baby .. My sweetie bun . My bubby . My everything . Always be by my side .
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
20th July 2010 Tuesday , 9.19p.m
Mailers Mailers out in singapore , anyone i did sent out before . Please come back =p It is gonna be end month soon again . I need my submission =p !!!!!!!!!! hahas .
My submission cannot make it la .! Oh gosh!
Used to bring smile to me , now ? nothing at all in a day to make me smile a little .
But talk with mama last few days,i felt better. Thanks mum for sharing your experience with me =p . I will make myself lucky , fortunate, happy and will take care of myself =p . I will bring myself happiness mum . I will try . Even if its tough i will still try .
Saturday, July 17, 2010
17th July 2010 Saturday , 10.32p.m
Looking at my phone many times today . No phone calls no messages till now ! But strange thing is i do still look at my phone and yet don't have the feeling of anxious or thinking why isn't him messaging me . Glad about it also , wont have to think too much either . This two days i'm alright with it . I didn't even think of why this and that even when i'm at work .
Be it anot he wants to still treat me as someone important to him , who he really loves wholeheartedly . It is up to him to decide not me .
I guess i have to start stressing on my life now . Income most important . I want to be someone that i'm able to support everything myself . My roof .? how ?
At times i feel like getting someone to talk to . But end up talking to myself here. To him ? nah . I don't wish to be a burden to him . I can cope i guess. I old enough to think and do anything too . I don't want to be a person that later people might think i cant be independent. And too dependent on him ..But i want to . But many things restrain me for that . I want a life man .! =p I want my love yes . Success in it ? I don't know . I want my career life . Success in it ? Obviously no .!! I want a family . Yes i do have but i want to create my own handling it and having it so much different from what i'm having now . And i know i'm gonna make it . But i have to work it out with my Mr.Right . =p Still have another few more years for me to fight for it .
Been watching my taiwan drama the whole day . PSman . Hahas Handsome men in it. =p
Oh gosh i;m hungry . But have go nothing to eat but am lazy to go down to grab food. Hmmm what shall i do .!!! Lazy Lazy .
Looking forward for monday to work .! Hopefully there's mailer coming back . Yesterday NONE! What is this .!!! I want to get my cross-sell com! .Sadden .
Thursday, July 15, 2010
15th July 2010 Thursday , 1.07a.m
I'm a useless freak . Just a freak ! Why can't i control my emotion at times. Why am i like that ? I hate to be like this either . :(
Can't get my work done properly even in my relationship i cannot manage well . Only know how to talk , complain and expect more . What else can i do ? Isn't me such a useless person ? Demanding ? Hais . I didn't mean to also . You mean so much to me like i can become crazy crazy .
Everyday i only know how to afraid of this and that . I guess you are sian of my doings also . But i will change . No matter how also must give it a try.
I still put all those memories that you once nice , so sweet , caring days on my mind. What you told my mum =p I will also bear it in mind. You have dare to tell her you loved me . I should trust you but no doubt you . I hope things can remain like how we would! I believe it is still just that you don't know how to express yourself only . Be it anot i'm deceiving myself, i choose to believe in our relationship . Please give me the strength and courage . Only you are able to save me from being so paranoid , crazy , useless . I still want to be the one you once told me , bie let me think that you are a person i wish to marry ..
Husband to be . <<< Like how i tease you and said this word=p . I'm still deeply in love with you . I guess you don't doubt my love to you either =p I'm really hoping for the day and waiting for the day that you can do , say and express everything infront of me .
Why i say i wish for that . Means by than ar you are very comfortable with me already . Everything we also can talk liao =p . Erm you understand what i mean ? I don't demand this from you so don't misunderstand . Is just that really the day come ar is really when we are really openly , comfortable about everything between the both of us .
Just want you to know that . I want a loving love life too =p . I'm also just a tiny girl in this world who needs that . I guess all of us in this world hope for that too .
Your smile with you smiling eyes is still melting my heart till now .
Monday, July 12, 2010
12th July 2010 Monday , 12.58a.m
Drinking my awful slimming tea now .! After that off to bed.
Will you please remember tomorrow help me go pay my NEA fine?
I'm so sick and tired already . Many things are not to my concern already isn't it ? Been telling myself telling you the same old thing. And i always tell myself stop already . No point asking and asking making you change or what. Waste my breath .! Been telling myself all this but end up didnt stop . Still much concern about all this .
But i guess this time round i'm really stopping.Neither do i have the strength already . I may be a disappointment to you . But have you thought that you may too ?? Not only you are the one have lost of trust in me , disappoint and Etc..... I'm also a person that have my own thinking.
You don't like me to nag , i wont nag anymore . You don't like what , i will just sit and see. I wont say anything anymore . But don't come telling me that why i'm like this nor no concern . I will concern everything in a different way from now on . Don't always have the mind set that i have to be the one to put in everything , in any direction . Like what i said , whatever happen to you in the past that can make you give this kind of treatment to me is bullshit. I'm a brand new person to it .
You might say i'm overreacting than show it to me that you will change like how you told me . I will give you time . But show me how much you loved me how much you want to spend your life with me and shower me pamper me with care , concern and tender love . Not being cold to me ..
I can love you so much but you can never expect that baby , I may get really tired one day but really give up . But still i'm always trying . What about you ? It hurt . And you always never want to understand that .
I can honestly tell you , you have already said umpteen times of words that hurt me deeply . But have you think back why sometimes i'm hush to you ? I'm a person with blood and flesh . That just hope her boyfriend pamper her like a princess. Don't be cruel to me anymore. I can hang on . But Hang on for how long ? Will you just treat me tenderly sweet and loved ?
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
It is just so hard to smoothly meet up with you nor smoothly get our things right .!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Nth much ! I'm just tired
Monday, July 5, 2010
5th July 2010 Monday , 10.02p.m
Each day passes so fast .. Everyday i panic.! For my submission . I see our leads is getting more i panic . Wonder how to cross sell more of my products. I'm afraid .
I want to earn more , more , more!!! Argghhh!!! Stress. Today no mailer came back .Oh gosh . What about tomorrow ?
Lao tian bo pi!. Give me more mailers for my submission =p .. Help ! Help!. Pray ! Pray . =p
Once again i miss my honey bun .. Wonder when will the day that he will be seriously down with me ? =p Hee. When will the day that he would take me as a wife material kind of girlfriend. ? When will just everything for me can settle down smoothly . Everyday only know how to fear hoping the day won't come. That he wouldn't leave me . Everyday think of all this can just occupied my whole day add on with work also . Thinking of how my life will be in future , how to earn more money so that i wouldn't live in burden . Everyday is thinking . I just want to get a man lean on him work together , walk the path together , share with me , stress together , help one another . ? Am i still asking for too much ..
Everyday i'm thinking , are you the one. ? Are you really the one worth all my love , my pain , my sorrow , my happiness, my everything . Each day before i fall asleep tiny drip of tear role down . And again because i kept thinking how . How to be a little more perfect for you to give me abit more attention each day , a little more love to me each day , a little more sweetness to me each day , a little more of you with me each day , a little more kiss from you each day , a little more of you holding my hands each day , a little more hug from you each day , a little more words to conversation each day . End of each day my answer to myself yes you are always the one. I just naively think so .! It would really help being this way .
Am actually so tired thinking of all this each day . But it can't stop . Your the one i believe can stop it one day . But only when you really into me wholeheartedly . Ya i know i'm greedy , selfish . But isn't love meant to be like this ?
Cheers to myself . Everyday i feel like a freak talking to myself .!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
4th July 2010 Sunday , 11.23p.m
Yawns. Gonna sleep soon .. Not waiting for any calls =p .
Tomorrow have to reach office by 8 ! Oh gosh . That's early . Sian sia.!!!
Miss you but you don't know.
Love you but you took me for granted ...
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go.
You have made my life complete and I love you so.
Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill.
For, my darlin', I love you and I always will.
Love me tender, love me long, take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong and we'll never part.
Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill.
For, my darlin', I love you and I always will.
Love me tender, love me dear, tell me you are mine.
I'll be yours through all the years till the end of time.
Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill.
For, my darlin', I love you and I always will.
03th July 2010 Saturday , 12.51a.m
I'm missing you already .
When will i feel so loved by you again ?
When will i feel so protected by you ?
I thought i would have let go much of it already . Thought i could just be normal and not to think so much already . But seems that i'm getting useless again . Seems that i'm starting to be unimportant again . Why? Why? always let me have this feel ?
Hot and cold Hot and cold from you . I'm getting sick soon . Later turn out to be fever =p .
Just can't you be just a normal guy either . To be just nice . I also want to feel loved , pamper like a princess. I just miss those moments. I cant help it . But i just miss those sweetness we've got .
I love you and needed you so much .
Can i say this . Don't leave me alright . ( Sounded lame but because i'm in love )
Hold me tight please ( Sounded stupid but because i'm in love)
Kiss me tenderly will you ( Sounded desperate but because i'm in love)
Always hold on to my hand will you (Sounds like i'm like a glue but i'm in love)
Hug me tightly (Sounds like i'm just way too sticky to you but i'm in love )
Love me truthfully , Love me tender , Love me hard . ( Because i'm way too in love with you )
