31st May Monday , 10.48 p.m

Chest has been quite uncomfortable for few days .. Pain on and off . Sometimes a bit hard to breathe . ! OH my what is wrong with me ? Tired.. I'm just restless and i don't know why . After blogging awhile more i'm going to sleep . I don't want to wait for your reply already .. Tired .! Got to work . Don't want later i not enough sleep again . Ask you help me see my FB pic never see right ! EVIL~~~~ =p .
I'm still wondering what to wear to work tomorrow .!!! ARGGHH everyday stress about formal !! Don't have really have much formal wears . Sooner or later people will start saying : Oh my Gosh Angeline why aren't you changing clothes . It's the same all the time .. OMG !!! LAZY LAZY ..

Laughs ! Am i just silly?

I'mBOred ...

To think back , those days were fun ..!! This is only a few of it =p

30th May Sunday ,01.28p.m

Tomorrow work . Off for three days already ! Getting lazy already . Oh my !.
Hmmmmm i miss my hubby~ . Guess his at work now . Haven call or message me till now too , i wonder he eaten his lunch already ? I don't want to disturb him , i know his working hard to hit his sales target . He is working at compass point today , hopefully he would get to pack my sengkang mee sua today . Urging for mee sua there for so long .! Arrrgghh vinegar alot alot , pepper alot alot , chilli alot alot !!! wahahas! I'm drooling already .

Hmmm feeling restless after hearing some stuff past two days . Wondering which side is right . Even if really they did talk about it why that lady would mention things like that . Its so bad to do that . What if someone says that to her also ! How would she feel . Its not a very nice to to gossip about things like that . I cant pin point either as i did not witness anything . But after my conversation with honey bun , i decided to believe him again . But how things go i don't know , i just hope he doesn't betray my trust . I'm a human being too . I can't take in too much nonsense either.

But i know he did his part to explain and allowing me to understand his situation also . What i hope is i don't want to witness anything unwanted for me . Ya still gonna cherish you , still gonna love you , holding on to you , still your smile with your smiling eyes melts my heart each day .
When i don't get to see you , i have the imaginary image of you . Sometimes i think , am i crazy or what . I don't how much you believe what i say but its freaking me out too . I just can see you in me your smile . OH gosh . I don't know what is happening with me . Its up to the extend that i can see your imaginary image when i miss you too much .

Laughs ! Am i just silly?

OK i love you hubby! i will be there to protect you ..! You just promise me whatever i have mentioned!!! Don't you dare breaking it .. BLEAHS

28th May 2010 Friday , 01.35a.m

Happy 2nd month anniversary hubby .. Which is yesterday 27th May . hahahs. Thanks for saying you love me once again . Quarrels have still been on .. Hmmm but still after one quarrel and another i'm gaining more from you .

Public holiday !!! Don't have to work later on =p Sat and Sun too . Wahahas .. good three days off.!!! Hmmmmm .. Hoping to get all my access done asap .!!! I wanna do some work! I don't wanna just slack around.. I will be lazy sooner or later .. Oh my .. Weather is killing man! Its so warm . Just want it to be abit more windy .

Random pics again! When is my hair growing back . ! I'm waiting . GOSH!

25th May 2010 Tuesday , 8.47p.m

Yawns ..!!! Tired sio . Finish work on the dot today . Nothing much to do in office either , haven got all my access yet . So yet to hands on with my work . But still did some follow up calls and a few supplementary sales . Hmmm was late to work today . ! Thank god my colleague help me punch card. Wont do it again . Don't want to sabo them and my team manager . He still can laugh laugh tell me eh next time don't like that le la. ! oh my where to find such a good team leader . So i must work hard to repay their kindness=p

Yuppi back to the square one i miss my boy . But what to do , not able to meet up . Don't know when than meet up . Hmmmm don't know la .whakakakks! Going to bathe liao than rest bahs . tomorrow cannot late already . Nothing to blog about also . No mood to type already . Hmmmm ARGGGHH what to wear to work tml . OH MY OH MY

23th May 2010 Sunday , 01.59a.m

Yawns ... Tired but cant get to sleep either . Haven bathe yet hahahas ... Went to north to meet my aunt and my younger cousin just now to sign my plan but end up didn't .. later after i go pray my grandma than go sign bah ... Getting a iphone i guess. But plan quite ex.. Hopefully my bad time will be over asap.. I'm struggling really . OH my OH my .!!!
Honestly i miss you again . Hmmmmm hais.. But again i think you fall asleep again . Tired ? Waited whole day for you . Good night .

ARRGGGGHhh!!! Faster go work don't need think so much .... Keep myself busy the best ...

21st May 2010 Friday, 10.32p.m

Just reach home . Leg is so freaking pain now .. OUCHW!!!!!! Went to orchard to fetch baby after my work than came home . Hungry now .. after bathing will cook maggie =p .. How to survive i'm wondering now .. to pay day is so long!!! I'm currently happy with my workplace =p

I'm confused with certain things at times.. Its so nice that its too good to be true .How much more i can feel this happiness. How long will it last. Will it be just a short one ?? I don't want it to be a short one . I'm still afraid . I want all this to be truthful. How long more before i can stop all this fear ? I want to stop those feelings. I just want a true heart for me to go in and stay in for a very very long time . I don't say forever but at least before i leave this world =p .. I want it to be you . I getting way too deep into certain things. Its hard for me to pull back now . I hope i could so i wont be so sensitive in so many things. Will he only belong to me and his family . I want to be the one and only one in the heart.. That's it . Just hope that its really so good to be true and really true =p

19th May 2010 Wednesday , 9.46 p.m

OUCH!!!!!!!! i accidentally poke my eye with my chip off nail . Oh my luckily nothing happen .. I don't know why suddenly my heart feeling weird .. Just weird . suddenly empty ?!?!?!?!Don't feel like knowing why either . Its just weird weird weird .. Hate this kind of feeling ..

Starting work tomorrow .. I'm getting nervous . Thinking if I'm able to adapt to the environment there. Have to reach ANZ at 8.45a.m . Oh my that's early . Thinking what if i don't do a gd job there..

OH my Oh my .. Mind wandering around again . I just hope for you to wish me good luck and some words for my new job . I'm nervous do you know ? Maybe with your words i will feel better. Never mind i know you are sick. Good luck to me . Starting anew from tomorrow onwards . Jiayous !

Please let me have hope in you again , don't let me have doubts in you again .. I'm starting to feel secured please let it go on and make it to the maximum .

Bubby get well soon .. I feel you just now .. You are getting warmer and warmer . I'm worried .. I will get you some cough mixture .. Even if cough better le just put at home for in case ..

17th May 2010 Monday , 4.18a.m

A regret haircut! I miss my hair !

I promise my bubby i will make him happy ! I know deep down in your heart you have promise me that you will treat me nicely make me happy , adore me , love me , care for me , pamper me and what ever you do to be lovely to me. I also promise that i wont say break up like tat again . I'm sorry . And also bubby thanks today for letting me know how much i meant to you . I'm really happy . The way you answer me i love you too baby . That sentence is the best part rather than the one you said i do love you thats why bla bla bla ... I just want to hear that three words. hahas. Thanks for everything . I hope the sweetest today will still last a longer period =p
Again i'm sorry for my mistake . Later i go buy liang teh bring go vivo for you ok . Muacks

~yes no matter how much we qarrelled , you still did an awesome paint work in me like what i said in my previous post~

Where is my confidence i asked myself . Where is the trust in myself i asked.
I secretly asked someone , she kept quiet for a second and next after tat she told me this Angeline i miss your way of expressing yourself in the past . You were never lack of confidence , never lack of courage .Even when a guy bully you , you will just stand up for yourself In chinese also she said heaven not scared ground not scared . whatever you want you just get it done. And said angeline just be yourself once again . I think back , yes that was how i were . And i know i will be strong enough to stand up again .

I would not be wanting to fear on so much thing anymore . I really think my whole day thru . I know i can make it . I am a girl coming a lady that ppl will be amazed of . And will make you never regret choosing me as your girlfriend . I will def success in what ever i want to do . I will not be the one hiding in a wu gui shell anymore . I WILL MAKE IT IN WHATEVER I WANT . Gonna stop whining and complaining about why his like this why his like tat .. What i want i will just make it happen . What i wish him to be i will make it happen ... What he want me to be i am trying to be one . I will just do everything by actions. No longer will have words coming out from my mouth .. But i guess if no choice i will pour out thru typing . =p I rather face this page sometimes. Its so much easy to say things out rather than speaking .

15 May 2010 Saturday , 9.43 p.m

1st pic from the left. Granny i would never see you laugh like tat again . I love you Grandma .

Found another few more picture while i was cleaning up my cardboard.. All our pictures are so hard to be found due to me moving places to places. I'm so afraid i will misplace all of them .. They are so precious .=p . When we out family be back together again .

15 May 2010 Saturday , 2.44a.m

Just reach home... But suddenly feel like blogging straight away.
Bubby !!! BABY ! Sweetie bun !. I want us to be strong . What you said about the sentence , it was really hurting . But i know i wasn't very nice just now either . I will improve myself ok . In whatever it is . I will try . I can't bear to leave you . Just now when i said you are so confident that i wouldn't even leave you but you give one face i saw . That face was suppose to be what ? I guess you are trying to say ya right . Actually you are scared isn't it ? I know i'm right =p

I still haven got a chance to move out and stay with you . I don't want to shrew things up . We suppose to work hard together find a place and stay together and learn how it is like to have together always and how to support each other out there. We haven fulfill many things. So we must still hold on tight ok . I know you are more a action rather than words person . I will try to accept everything so do you ok . I love you so I'm willing to do it . Just now is one of the quarrels that i fear most . I thought i would have just lose you for good . But things still turn out alright and you said it didn't affect us . Like what i said I'm only left with you , i wont just let you go easily . I know I'm weird . But you yourself know how my life is , so i guess i will be abit weirder la .

Your the reason I'm strong . You are way to precious to me that sometimes i wanna to be very careful with how i deal things but it turn out sour . I will use my ass brains to think properly before i say things =p . And bubby i'm not wasting my time . I know what ever time i spend for you is all worth while . So stop saying that i'm wasting any of my time on you . alright bubby?

You are still my charming boy with your smile and your smiling eyes melting my heart each day . That can never change the fact . i have already lock you in me . You're still the one that i always wanted . Thanks for letting me know you . It will never be the same if i have not met you .
You fill my life with colours . You did a very nice paint work on me .

13th May 2010 Thursday , 5.41 p.m

~This whole week i felt awful~

Aunt was talking about my mum again . I wanted to see my mum so much . But i just can't bring myself to cal her . She was asking me if i went to see my mum on Mother's day . But i didn't . I didn't call ,i didn't wish her, i didn't see her . My mind is bursting ..

Today will be the fourth day i have not met baby . I just did it on good will . I just wanted to see you . I miss you . This few days I'm getting more and more paranoid . Like what i said in the previous post. But i still can't stop myself . This whole week I've been thinking alot. Recently I'm really afraid that baby would leave me . I don't understand why but suddenly i have all this feeling. I can't stop myself from thinking. I'm just afraid . Suddenly i will wake up and think is my boyfriend still with me . Waking up with tears for nothing . I think i really have got nothing left but him . He makes me feel that he is the only one i can trust the one who will be beside me . I'm so scared when i wake up the next day he will be gone . I feel so unsecured of my life now . I feel I;m like hanging in mid air . This whole week i feel awful .

When i see this , i do think of you!!

Tomorrow going down to office for some contract stuff . Hmmmm Don't know what time i will get to bed . I don't know why i seems so paranoid. What happen to me ? I don't understand. At the same time i voice thing out to you but at the same time i'm scared your sick of it ..
I don't know why am i like this . Can't just keep my mouth shut and be it . I'm afraid to lose you i guess. as time pass i get more fear in it . Perhaps i been thinking of my family stuffs from my grandma's wake till now .. I may not show it to you but deep down everyday i'm thinking . I wonder why my mother would say such a thing to me . Mother's just over things wandering in my mind gotten worst . I didn't even wish her anything nor call her . I can't bring myself to do it . She didn't call since then either . Darling sometimes not i wanna be paranoid over things. I know you have your problems too but i'm really scared of losing family member . I know you might say all this you might been through . But i'm trying to be strong either . How can i talk about all this face to face with you . I don't want to bring all this thing up . i'm afraid it will affect your mood. I know i have got a problematic family . I hope all this which affect me wont affect us . Sometimes i see my family , so happening ( Opposite ) . I wonder what happens when i create my own family ? will i follow the footsteps of my family ? i can't stop myself from fearing cos i'm seeing it in my own eyes.
Sometimes i feel seems that you are the only one close to me and starting to understand me .. Sometimes i feel you understand me more than my family who brought me up for 19 years. This might be part of the reason i treasure you so much . There are so many reason for me to treasure you . But i know you are a nice guy and i hope you are . I hope i'm not wrong . 我稀望我没看错人. Superglue me and hold me tight when your with me alright . i want the warmth cos i feel so cold . I don't want to be alone cos i feel lonely . Save me before i turn into an ice. Slowly i know i will love you till no medicine can cure (translate to Chinese ) =p .

11th May 2010 , Tuesday 4.19p.m

I tender already for apple company . I got a phone call from RBS this morning asking me to start work on the 17th of may . Will this job be stable for me ? I just want to stable down in a job . I hate the feeling of changing job , changing environment so often. I feel so unsecured . I just need a permanent job please . And hopefully able for me to clear my stuff and survive nicely with not much problem .
Oh shoot i don't have formal wearing ?!@#$ Got to get some more when my money is stabled . I wonder what should i wear to work .... Now problem lies with my clothes hahhas ..
Yes but at last i get back to my credit card trade .Happy about it at the same time scared . I scared I'm not up to it . Oh my why is my mind always wandering to no where . god!!!!!!!!. Hopefully this time round it work smoothly for me ... And please ANGELINE get up on time hahahs ...

Now just wondering when meeting my honey bun again . When i see him i tense to get the feeling i'm so useless and i want to work harder on my career .. Cos i always believe not only man can overtake women .. We girls, ladies , women can do it too =p .

11/05/10 2.16a.m tuesday ,

Angeline ~ a message to you

Says : setiap hari aku merindukanmu! semua saya ingin memberitahu
anda adalah aku cinta kamu. berusaha sebaik mungkin untuk belajar
Melayu sekarang !

Its time i must slowly take up some malay =p . Tired .. Thought i would have start missing you lesser but it turns out the opposite way . I miss you more each day , loving you more each day .Will you feel bored of me saying all this to you everyday ? But like what i told you before . I want you to feel secure by my love . I want to pamper you , i want you to know that there is someone in this world who really use her precious heart to feel you, to hold you , to understand you , to pamper you , to console you ,to miss you , to give you laughter , to give you warmth , to give you love , to give you everything. And to feel you appreciate her =p .

I know its same old sentence everyday . But everyday i feel this way , aren't you happy about it =p . I want to be the one holding on to the main keys and wanting to hold on to it for a very very very very long time . Me to unlock and only for me to step in . No one else expect for me . I don't want to share you with anyone. Its not being selfish but i only want you =p and you to have me only . That's my princess wish .

YAwns !!!! working working working.. RBS please call . I'm waiting .

She's tired . She wants her mind to rest for a while. She know she will be loved by someone .
She's not unwanted . She's somebody important . She believe she's not the worst . She know she have her stand . She's sweet and hopefully not being taken for granted . She love and really adore the one she loved . she wants the person to understand . THats all

Shortlisted Shortlised=p

Starting work tml =p whahahas.!!!! gd luck to me..
I miss honey bun so much and i manage to meet him today! HAPPY

Thursday , 06/05/10 2/08a.m

Will i get shortlisted ? I miss all my cousins , cousin-in-laws and my brother . Suddenly i know how much they stand in my heart already. Meet up soon guys .!

04/05/10 Tues 5.55a.m

Today went to fetch baby from work at tanjong pagar plaza.. I was late!! I'm sorry honey bun . Till now happy untill cannot sleep. Today we went to watch IP man 2 together at tiong bahru . Our first movie date alright . Its like at last huh . ! No doubt not really an outing like food , shopping ! But i appreciate it that you are willing to bring me out for movies . I didn't expect like this i can be so happy. But was really unexpected . ! Oh my . I'm flying in the air=p After that we headed back to his home for dinner ! Played his PSP just now too. Its like at last his sister brought his PSP home. hahahs . After that talk to his mama awhile , watched television together with her too . Were watching one malay movie . No doubt didn't start watching from the beginning but overall the movie was nice. But it was a very old movie already . After his mama went to sleep cont with movies online .. hahas! I really enjoyed my time with honey bun today .. Hoping for more to come =p . OOPS i'm greedy huh=p . Hee Misses my dear , love you! see you =p muacks.Heh!!

My first bus trip with baby =p

Our first movie date!!!

(It is sure a nice movie. Better catch it real fast =p)

02/05/10 11.13p.m Sunday .

Is it always to be me missing you everyday ? Loving you ?
Honestly do you miss me ? Love me?
I'm confused. Why is it so hard to gain everything from you . Can you for once open your heart to me . Is it really that hard. ? Am i really not worth anything ? Or am i thinking too much . Can someone stop me from making my mind run wild . I don't like the feeling.
She deserve to be loved by you =p

2.31a.m 02/05/10 sun.

Quarrels again .! yes i know. But still i never stop loving you . Infact guess what Sweetie bun . I love you more. ! I'm sry uploading pics that i did a simple edit. Don't scold me arhs

7.03p.m 01/05/10 sat

I"M REALLY BORED. oh my .. someone help!!!!