MYEPRETTY-ROMANCE♥

28th June 2010 Monday, 9.38p.m

Just finish bathing =p .. Today once again i forgot to save my excel sheet .. I lost most of the customer details i called today . What a day .!!! I didn't expect my excel to hang !. Oh GOSH !
What is wrong with me .! Didn't get my submission done well . Yet cust details also gone.

Help .!!! need to hit my target for next month . I really need. ! Need to earn more money!!!!!!!!

Stress! But do you know?

27th June 2010 Sunday , 9.39p.m

Yawns.! Feeling restless. Looking into my phone for quite a number of hours. No calls , no messages. Lols. Used to it already la.

Having bad headache again , i really don't know why . But recently i have been having headache for no reasons. Hate it alright. Tomorrow is a working day again . Good also , don't have to stay home and do nothing for the whole day . Erm i guess i'm putting on weight again ? Oh gosh . I can't take it man . Lazy to lose weight also .Oh my!! Should i go get my slimming tea. Lols. But am so lazy . Quick ! Pay day in few days time. ARRGGHHH!!! tired. mentally tired =p

27th June 2010 Sunday , 12.57a.m

It's the third month already . You remember . =p
I just wanted a nice good night message from you . Forcing myself not to say anything , ended up myself resort to begging .
I look stupid . I'm silly . Remembering some stuff that you might think it's really silly =p . But what to do i am silly huh . =p

Happy 3rd month anniversary , to you and me .
It's a hard 3 months . But it will continue ya.? Not up to me to decide how long it gonna last and how well it gonna be . Leave it to fate . I'm starting to leave everything to fate. Being naive once and once again . Hoping that way will give me my happiness.

I love you . I love you not . I love you , I love you not , I love you .

I just received your message . But i'm sorry to say that and i have the feeling that if i wouldn had mention anything about it i guess you wouldn't reply . I always wanted you to take the initiative to do some stuff. Not hoping that you would be like any other people. But please do understand i take some stuff really seriously . Even its just small little things. Can i drift apart i think . But nothing makes me able to do it . You are like a magnet. It holds me tightly to you . I don't understand why . I understand nothing is perfect . But i hope my love life is good .

But still all i can say is ever since that incident things have really change . It will never be like how you were after that day you confess to me downstairs your house. You didn't realize only . But same thing , i 'm always waiting deep down for the day . You might say that i'm not content enough for what i'm having now . Be it anot i'm greedy . But my greed are those sweet times i had with you . Is it too much for you ? Like saying that surprise kiss you gave me downstairs my house? Missing the feeling, and hoping to taste that kiss again too much ? But you told me , i'm never happy enough with what i have . This are small small things that i can't forget . You set a trap i fell into the trap . Can't i just even think about it . The ever 1st hug we really hug while watching harry potter . You may forget all this and it might not be important to you . But it really mean alot to me . All this always keep me accompanied when you are not with me .

When can you really understand that saying all this will do a pinch in my heart. You always tell me you understand what i meant . But i really want to ask you again . Do you really understand ? I don't care how many hurtful relationship you been through , what kind of relationship that left you a scar in your heart. But i'm a brand new person , a new person to you , a person who loves you like there is no tomorrow , person who wish to protect you . Please don't ever take any of those to be a reason to not treat me well . I'm not saying you don't treat me well . I'm just stating some examples and what i hope to tell you . I know i'm long-winded but i have way so much things to tell you everyday .But i always don't have the chance to tell you end up everything to my blog .

I know i'm really greedy . But i just want you to give me 100 percent attention . Maybe that is too much .. Erm maybe 60 percent , 70 percent >? I don't know . Just want your attention . I love being like a small princess in your arm . I like to (sai nai) in your arms . Like it when you hold me like i'm your treasure . I don't like it when you can treat me warmth today but cold tomorrow . Like what i said, sometimes you don't feel it but people esp me beside you can feel you . YOu don't realize but i do . Like how you can ask me bie why today you so cold to me . And you will only reply me Ok nvm Good .! What is this baby ? I don't know want to laugh or what sometimes.

Have you realize sometimes your words are abit hush .! Cool abit can bubby ?

Stop here i guess before i irritate you again . Good Night . And Good night to myself .

26th June 2010 Saturday , 10.34p.m

You ask me if I love you and I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you on what you say or do
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer, still trapped within my truths
A hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you and drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through and hold you endlessly
At times I understand you and I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
and I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters, still searching for a friend,
A brother or a sister, but then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

25th June 2010 Friday , 10.28p.m

At last its a Friday . Tomorrow and Sunday are my off days .!!! Chill relax ar!.
Two more days. I doubt you will remember =p . hee . But aiya like that lo .! It's still you . What to do . Meet lesser ? To make you not sick of me ? I miss you ? But what to do ? I have nightmare do you know ? It's so cruel in the dream ? But what should i do ? It's only a dream ? Where are your hugs when i needed them badly ?

I don't know . I'm i really yours ? Or it will just flash off like a dream after i wake up . I hope not . Your weird . But you are the one . Believe it or not . I have make up my mind to just ok relax. Chill .! What is yours can never run away . What that doesn't belongs to you , no matter how you grab how tight you hold or how you tie it up . It will still SNAP and off it go .!

So just relax angeline . Chill .Cool .! The previous few post after you read how you feel ? I wonder how i wonder why . ? I'm just over reacting .

But WHOOOOOP. you have forgotten to call me after you bathe AGAIN . Gooda bye everyone . Off to enjoy my movies.

24th June 2010 Thursday , 1.51a.m

Reach home not long ago , just finish washing up . Gonna get to sleep soon ..
Been with bubby for this two days. Watch movie the whole day . Went to a doctor to get my M.c just now too . Was on m.c , feeling weird when i'm not in office. Having those feeling that arrrrr i didn't get my job done . But bubby accompany me the whole day .

I like it when i'm with him . When i am with him , while watching movie my mind wander off without even paying much attention to those movies. In my heart i was thinking , when will i get a chance to live with him . Everyday first thing in the morning i wake up i see you , before i head to work i get to kiss you goodbye . When i get home i do the house chore , get food done for you and then i will see you open the door and i take your socks you put your shoes nicely back in place. I'll get your towel to allow you to bathe and then sit down together and have dinner and enjoy movies or television program . And than after that we will chit chat while i'm clearing the dishes , we smoke relax and then off to bed and i get to hug you tightly to sleep . And your huge arm over me to protect me and make me secure to sleep . So i wouldn't get nightmare .

I'm hoping for the day to come . To my palace you build in my heart may come true in life . Love you good night .

21th June 2010 Monday , 11.21p.m

I think the best thing ever happen in my life living so many years is god ever let me to get a chance to know you , to fall in love with you , to start a relationship with you and to let us have the process of thick and thin in future . I never regret falling in love with you and will never want to let you go . No doubt it's only coming a few months we are together but i never ever loved so tiring , so sweet , so sour , so blissful, so tough , so fortunate , so bitter , so unpeacefully , so peacefully , so jealous, so not trusting yet later on trusting one.

So loving yet so sore . But till every end of quarrel thank god we made up . We are so spicy at times , as cool as slow as the waves in the sea. Sometimes burning hot . Sometimes freezing cold.. Sometimes it is in black and white sometimes so colourful . So not loving yet super duber in love with each other. We can throw each other aside yet missed one another like there is no tomorrow . We scream and yell yet deep down we are so sweet to each other. Giving each other nonsensical attitude yet so jealous over things around us. We act as if we were so strong that show each other the hard side as if it's ok without each other yet so much care and concern .

But our love for each other has always been there. It never stop even a second , am i right my dear ? feel that we're never meant to be but yet meant to be . =p Telling you that i loved you last one month is because my feelings for you are strong but now i assure its not just a crush just feeling strong . I'm truly madly deeply in love with you .

I see you ! You look restless today , tired!! Hopefully my words give you strength . Please keep your promise. I want to be someone in you . To take part every part and parcel in your life. That's my dream . I love you .

20th June 2010 Sunday, 1.52a.m

Still can get to sleep . I don't even know whether have you reach home . Are you drunk ? But indeed the conversation we had on the phone was nasty yet later on nice. What you have promise me. ! Please can you fulfill it? It's time that i want to be myself together with you ! I don't want to be myself without you . I don't want to get giggle at , laugh at. I want to be proud of myself for once. Being proud having you around . I want to get it start that people will start to be envious over we but not the other way round . You promised . You said after meeting up with my mother it gave you a decision that me i'm the one.! you are able to face. and together with me to face the world. Thanks for telling my mum you love me. And i know i wont forget that . You told me no matter what you are always there for me . No doubt you don't say but you want me to know that you loved me so much . All this i will always bear it in mind . Not to worry about that alright . But please . In order for me to not forget all this , be sure you don't forget loving me . missing me , caring for me , holding me tight .

I'm still waiting for the day that you will shout out loud . Chiu Angeline is my girl , my lady , my woman . She belongs to you mike ang azhar but no one else . And she will tell you this, she's not ready to let you go . She's not ready to blow you off. She's only ready to let you in to her palace , She's only ready for you . And she's only ready to love the one and only you .

19th June 2010 Saturday , 1.26p.m

She've got a msg last night

i love you bie don't ever forget that ok.

Her reply to this msg , i would never forget that unless one day you forget loving me . =p

19th June 2010 Saturday , 1.39a.m

Went to look for my mum today .!!! I enjoy my time with her and hubby! Hope you do enjoy yourself too . I hope we both can bring her out soon .

My mum said something very right . Love is pain . Blissful , fortunate too . I will learn from every steps.

I love you honey .!!

17th June 2010 Thursday , 10.19p.m

Submission Submission .!!! I need my submission . Oh Gosh I just check my follow up excel sheet at work . I've got more than 80 acceptance for my sub card !! But only 5 mailer came back .Oh my what is this !! Stress. !!! I need to perform ! My performance .!! Where are they .!! And my calling process number is way too high . It's not a very good thing for me .!! The higher my process number go the harder to hit my com!!! Stop calling will i .!! Lols but i cant .. Everyday have to hit so many calls.!!

Oh my .!!!!! I want my commission full full ya!!! God bless me!! GRANNY bless me .!! hee.
Hungry Hungry!.. Leg so pain .!!! Paper cuts on my hands again. Everyday at least must cut one time if not my hand doesn't feel good huh!!! Irritating. Annoying papers.!!! AND ENVELOPE .! But i love my job!! . Lols. It keep me rather busy than having nothing to do . =p . At least when i'm at work for that so many hours i don't have to think so much about my personal life stuff. As its stressful!! I already have got one most stressful think ! NUMBER 1 in place. ! Just please everything go smoothly alright . IT's fucking ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! i want to shout out loud .!!! Just shout .!!!

16th june 2010 Wednesday , 11.49p.m

Yawns.!! Hungry!! heee. Blogging at baby's house. Staying over for the night . Hmmmm tomorrow i have to wear my same clothes to work . Oh gosh ! Hahas ! was a last min plan to stay over .. The rice is cook and i have finish bathing ! But you are sleeping so soundly . LOLS but so adorable ! Hmmmm ... Wake up and eat your food darling. hahahs . ! At last i get to stay over again .. So long since i stayed over and accompany you . Loves .

16th June 2010 Wednesday , 12.35a.m

Everything is going fine again . Bubby said nothing's change , we are still the same . Thank god you reply me this . I want you to believe me with your heart . You have succeed in letting me have the thinking you will be my soulmate , The person i wish to marry . What about me ? have i succeed in your request ? I thought it through , I love you for who you are now . What's past is past , its pointless bringing up the past. We are living in the present looking forward for the future. Remember the show we watch together at your house .? Yesterday is a history , today is the present tomorrow is a gift . We will work things out once again like what you said . Step by step for a better future for a better romance , for a beautiful day . But we are still like how we were from that day you confess your love to me. I always remember how you did . It will always be kept deep down in me. Its a gift from you . Its a assurance you gave me .

I broke down and cry when i saw you smile at me outside the taxi . Sad was because i let you down , tears of my fear that you never give me another chance to amend , tears of the fear you will throw me away. But tears of joy for your smile because i saw that smiling eyes from the very first day i saw you that melted me straight away . I will still keep my promise to protect you , pamper you , love you and treasure the precious you .

I want you to do it to me too . I'm fragile yet love so strong for you . Until now i can't stop tearing but my tears now are tears of joy . I'm telling you real firm now . I want you to appreciate these tears i drop for you . It's tears of our love that is so precious . My most beloved one , I'm telling you this once again . I never had a dream come true , you create a dream in me . You allow me to dream for a family with you , you are my dream , my present , my future , my love , my strength , my power . You make my dream come true . You made everything worthwhile .

I love you my prince. My king . You've create a small stable , sweet , lovely palace for me . It's like a fairy tale to me but it's so true . I want to always protect this palace for us . When one day you are tired , stressful , having problems or just missing me , thinking of me .Or just wanting to relax , the palace door is always open for you to come in and lean on me . I will always be taking great care of it for you to come in anytime to feel homely , warmth . You create this and i will protect it . It take both hands to clap , as well as our romance . We must work together and give each other the happiness and i know i can do it. What about you ?=p Always remember i will always be there for you . I'm your mountain , i'm your shoulder , i'm your pillar and i'm always the lady , woman or girl waiting for you to come home to your palace and pamper you. I will hug you with my imaginary huge arm to protect you from anything . It only belongs to us .

Imagine me without you

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

I can't imagine me without you

Yes i know you tried to improve yourself to me honey . I appreciate it well enough . I'm scared i'm paranoid . I trust you alright . I will pamper you ok . I will love you will my whole warmness heart. I know many of my post bring a smile to you . I touch to hear that too. I won't scare you away but i will make you love me more than ever . I know you love me . I can feel it . By your assurance i'm peace . I know you wont throw me away . I know you want me to make you feel i'm someone you wish to marry . I will improve myself like how you did too . We will still hold on tight and strive for everything including our future . I promise you ok . I wont lose you neither you will lose me. I love you baby . My love have always been there. Never once change . Its all angry words of my .! I treasure you .

i'm looking forward for our outing tomorrow .
I miss you .
Never get the right word to expression my feelings to you . But i know you can feel it . My hubby . My precious , my soul , my soulmate. You are the one i assume ! Everything i wont assume anymore but i assume you ! i assume you my right one. My only love . Make it my true love =p Make it that i will never let you go .

Imagine me without you .

13th June 2010 Sunday , 10.28p.m

Just finish bathing . But have not remove my make up ! lols... Don't know if baby is meeting me . Hmmm i'm tired . Sat and Sun also went back to office to finish my stuff. Haiyo!. He haven finish work? Having team meeting ? Also never update me . Tell me quick . If not i want to rest already .

Sick Sick Sick . Hate having flu . And now my voice sound sexy .! SO man also . Hmmm i miss my Baby!=p

RANDOM RANDOM !!

tears is always rowing down my face. I'm really to the extend that i don't know what to do already . I can't breathe. I hate all this pain . I hate all this . You doubt my love and that's it . Yes i can't accept . I feel so useless. I had enough.I don't wanna cry everytime. I hate it . I just want a sweet one but i cant. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... You just dun understand me .!

12th June 2010 Saturday , 1a.m

Comment once only must delete post . ! Really are you just so scared that people will suspect i'm your girlfriend? There is something i always wanting to ask! What is bothering you about me posting at your profile . What is it bothering you that you just just so afraid that from your profile people get to know that you have a girlfriend . What is wrong with you .! And that freaking post wasn't suppose to be an jealous post. I just didn't explain to you just now. It is just some words to cheer you up when you are in reservist .!

What is wrong with me ?Can anyone tell me ? What is wrong with my face ? or what's the problem with me having a boyfriend like you . I'm pissed really pissed . ! Why must it always when i'm starting to fall for you in a new beginning day i will always see unhappy stuff ? You didn't realize i guess. It's always to fall for you differently every single day . Why can't we be just like normal couples that proudly to whatever thing openly. It's not that i want to compare . It's not that i don't love you deep enough . But it's just that i'm starting to envy people . Really I have started to really envy people. But at the same time i DON"T WANT TO LOSE YOU ! Accept it i know in order to keep you by my side . But i really can't stop myself to envy certain things. I just want to have a smooth , sweet process and i want you to be proud that you have me . I want you to announce to the world yes Chiu Angeline is my girl , his wife to be . I don't know why but i just want it this way . I can't help it . I just want it like this. Be it a not i'm childish having this thinking .But i just couldn't help it. I just cant wait that you only belong to me . Selfish yes i am but still the same old sentence . I can't help it .! It's just all in my mind and heart. YOU YOU YOU!! Than how ? I feel ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't you just proudly hold my hands on the street .!! Proudly take pictures with me! Proudly do whatever thing a couple could so openly!. Not that i want to show you off to people hey i have a boyfriend. I just like it that way . I like it when we can openly go on a date. ! Openly have fun . Openly have our romance .! Openly do romantic stuff. I know i'm asking alot. But I want to feel the process.! I know you will tell me not happy change bf la . But you think i bear to .

End of the day i still love you much, i know you still make me smile and make my day!. I'm sorry that i have this thinking. But really bubby , i enjoying diggingyour ear for you , picking you up from work .Im glad your reservist is over . I cant bear to not see you for so many days. It's awful.

10th June 2010 Thursday, 10.32 p.m

Arrgghhh! I was so careless today at work !! I forgot to save my excel sheet! I lose most of my data calls today. I will lose out so much mailer . OH GOSH!! EEEEEEEEEE stupid me ... Hais ..

OOOOOOO quick quick !! It's 11th tomorrow . I can get to see my honey bun soon!! He is going to finish his reservist!! I'm so happy!! I'm so looking forward for it .. !! 5 days at last its going to be over soon!. Thank god. OH gosh Oh gosh! i'm just so excited.!!! =p . Love you my dear . Muacks .

Ok off to paint my nails =p

10th June 2010 Thursday , 12.33a.m

Now i know you actually took the effort to read my blog .
Yes we quarrel . But after which i felt deeper and deeper for you .
Thanks .
I appreciate it alot.
My feeling now is , i miss you badly . Never wish to leave you!
Sleeping lesser for 15mins, 1 hr , 2 hr, whatever it is doesnt make difference . But without you , talking to you , teasing me , quarrels, loves, hugs, sweet talks and misses make a very big difference .!

I love you my boy!

8th June 2010 Tuesday , 11.55p.m

Yes i'am posting everywhere about this . You just told me you miss my everything. And i'm so proud of it . Because you are the one who said this . Not anyone else but you . I'm posting all this for you .! I miss you my dear sweetie pie.. counting down to three days more .

7th June 2010 Monday, 8.15p.m

Just reach home. Having my dinner now, baby went for his re-service le. I miss him already. 5days huh! oh my... Poor boy! my poor boy=p.. looking forward for the 11th when he finish=p love you my dear

06th June 2010 Sunday , 12.45p.m

enough i guess! But i still appreciate though. You were once my dream .But dreams had shattered ... I'm still an unwanted child after all

I learn many things too . I don't have hard feelings on you .

Goodbye my love .! It was deeply loved but never meant to be . I miss your voice , I miss your face , I miss your talking heart , I miss your hands , I miss those eyes and i miss your tightly hug .

I will keep you deep on in my heart . I will just push it real deep

Goodbye. Laughs! she's just silly to fall in love .

I remember when I still believed the things you said
Never would have thought that this would come to an end
How was I to know that you had another Someone New

I recall the days I loved you in a million ways
Suddenly you and me
From friends to History
I realized my trust ain't coming back no more

Cause My Love For You
Will always last eternally
You are In My Heart
I loved you from the start
Baby it's hard To believe
That You and I were never meant to be

Does anybody know this feeling of despair
When you really love someone
When You really care
It's hard to walk away
When I really wanna stay with you
Does anybody know it tears you up inside
When you tried to decide
Between what's wrong and right
Gotta know for sure
My trust aint coming back no more

Cause My Love For You
Will Always Last Eternally
You're In My Heart
I loved you from the start
Baby it's hard to believe
That You and I were never meant to be

04th June 2010 Friday , 10.58p.m

Tomorrow off!! At last =p Monday have to start calling customer and clear leads already . Nervous eh . Now baby i can tell you loudly ! I will miss you alot when you go back for re-service. Honestly my heart only have you. What rumors, what people comment about us i don't bother already . With those words you said just now .. But i want to hear more ! More ! More .

I will be a very good girl wait for you to finish your re-service . After all its only a week right =p .. I love you my honey bun . Muacks . Your always on my mind . Missyou!

03th June 2010 Thursday , 9.21p.m

I just feel awful suddenly!.. Is it mood swing again ? Oh gosh! . EEeeeEEE!! I just need to got my line soon!... Gonna ask my aunt to lend me her name to sign my plan already i guess.! My cousin unable to get the friend to do the student plan for me ... Ohmy Ohmy !!...

Please my income please.. Stable soon can!.. I hate being so poor . Where is my money and how i wish i could spend like how i did in the past .. Wish me luck on sales . May all bad things go away as soon as possible . I hate being tied down with all this cash flow problem . Eeeeee!!!
My boyfriend ? nothing much to post abt ! Its just routine same old stuff. Nothing new is going on .. =p Just wonder where is his smile and smiling eyes. I guess its the fact it have been quite sometime i really look into his eyes properly . Guess i'm just to into my job recently . Just want to quickly get my access done and do my sales .! He is going back for re-service soon . Hmmmm how much will i miss him for that 5 days 4 night ?

1st June 2010 Tuesday , 10.14p.m

I see ! I saw ! I seen ! I look ! I looked !
They are so sweet . Envy ! OH gosh! Look at those sweetness in them . Oh Gosh saw those sweetly photo taken . AwWwW! Nice .

Good night everyone . She's tired .

Suddenly i'm wondering ! Where are those smile with the smiling eyes you've got . It have been quite sometime i really look into your eyes .

Laughs ! Am i just silly?