It's been months and months I last updated blog! Basically I tot it's stupid to blog again. !!
Deep tots, deep trouble, heartbroken an basically I hope even god heard my prayers ! Things were going smoothly, balloted my home and basically coming to a point that I'm confirm with whatever I'm having ... Comes another issue , I know I can face it no matter how difficult it is and I hope is also with you ...
Somehow I felt because I'm different and that's why I have to face the fact thy I'm out of the game. Just blessing from your family is really important to us and the support I hope they could give is moral support , family support... I always thought that it's a sooner or later thing but now we just need to bring forward whatever we had plan earlier . I still have hope and confidence in you. I seriously want this family with you.
Today, you gave me a feeling that you are willing and wants to be with me and go thru this together . I dunno if I'm wrong. I dunno if it's all my one sided thinking again.
I truly love the everything of us and whatever we have ... Once again I beg , I plead , I sincerely hope that accept it with me and we know we can manage and be happy as a whole. Who on earth in this life doesn't have obstacle, financial issue or a not so perfect life. With all our strength, with all our hope and our hardwork, we can't get thru? Slowly we will step by step solve each issue together hand in hand.
I sincerely seek forgiveness from your family and also sincerely wanting to tell you let's work and get things solved slowly. Please .....
Heartbroken for uncountable days...
With love from me to you...
Parklane with bf @ lan shop -_-''''
Bored! Gastric pain! Fucckkkkk!!!
My life is full of shit is in a mess again. I wonder how I wonder why. I'm just so restless. I need to distress !!! Seems tat I'm just a trash in certain one's heart ....
Dear god, please I seldom pray! I know it's my bad when times are freaking bad I will then pray! I just want things to go smoothly. If ppl are unable to accept me at least tell me but not treating me like a fool.
I'm down really down. Emotionally instabled .
I want to get drunk again:)
14th May 2011 Saturday , 9.07pm
It have been such a long time i touch my blog... Stress up at work again! I wonder what should i do...
Having some funny thoughts again =p ... I wish to go back to direct sales i guess... I can say that i totally fail in telesales. I've yet to succeed in it , struggling day by day. Demoralize day by day! As time goes by, i feel sick!
I wonder when i will be able to stabilize on my job, what is my career? Studies, have done nothing to it till now. Money is not coming in but yet spending more than ever. Stress is an excuse he said ! Stress, is something i add on to myself. It's how i handle it, i have to overcome but not let it overtake me he said. If day by day continues to go on like this i will be dead. What is really wrong with me? What is the real reason i always fail? I want to vent many things out and most of it are related to my job. How am i suppose to not talk about my job to you when i basically only have work life all 5 days a week and home on weekends ? I understand most of the time our conversation is about my work life but as for now it's only my job that comes across my mind. That is the most important issue in my life. I can't afford to lose my job neither to get something lower paid by this.
I really need to distress. I need some healthy activity with you as well! I can't take it when i only get to see home walls every week. I really think that it will help us more in many ways as well.. Alternatively, you can bring me out for a drink as well. I've never get a chance to really have a good chill out with you. I really need some alcohol in me! I need a ice chill beer man!(It's about time baby for a drink) The weather have been so warm and humid. It adds on to me to be pissed and irritated.
I wonder why i blow out easily so often nowadays. Something must be really going wrong in mee!!! I really need some chill out place for some nice drinks and relax . My first choice will be a beer garden .! I wouldn't even want to choose a place like pubbing. I guess i just need some live band, drinks, ciggy, you and fresh air.
Bring me out of my sickening life will you :)
Yawns...!!!! Finally got back my charger frm mybf!!! My phone is down basicallyfrm yesterday till now =p .. Happy!! Sweets is having his MJ session at Jian Sheng house. And here i am using his com -_- ... Baby get tired faster ok! =p so i get to play too !! hahahs ... Once again Happy Chinese New to everyone....
Yawns! Just finish doing my nails-_- at this time?
I can't get to sleep! So stress up:( I've got a feeling my time with sweets will be getting lesser ... And my love for you is deeper than ever again! Gosh! Sweets your glad to hear this isn't it?
There are things we said that we wanna work for:) I'm glad to hear that! And hopefully my new work place can also be in a position to help out more.. I will strive hard there ! No matter how thick skin I must be , how irritating I must be but I will still try getting people to sign up cards:)
I know u lovely me lovely lovely me:) ... I just can't wait to see u soon and spend timeless time with you....
I love you sweets! Night ! Your always in my heart alright:)
Fan broke down -_- Luckily sweets get one for me already~! Gonna go collect it later..
Yawns so warm yet so tired. I wanna see you so much ;( hais ! I just to build my own home and space. Just me and you . Thats all. I want to feel home again ;(
It seems to be my dreamt ...
