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2012-02-06T23:08:00.002+08:00

It's been months and months I last updated blog! Basically I tot it's stupid to blog again. !!

Deep tots, deep trouble, heartbroken an basically I hope even god heard my prayers ! Things were going smoothly, balloted my home and basically coming to a point that I'm confirm with whatever I'm having ... Comes another issue , I know I can face it no matter how difficult it is and I hope is also with you ...

Somehow I felt because I'm different and that's why I have to face the fact thy I'm out of the game. Just blessing from your family is really important to us and the support I hope they could give is moral support , family support... I always thought that it's a sooner or later thing but now we just need to bring forward whatever we had plan earlier . I still have hope and confidence in you. I seriously want this family with you.

Today, you gave me a feeling that you are willing and wants to be with me and go thru this together . I dunno if I'm wrong. I dunno if it's all my one sided thinking again.

I truly love the everything of us and whatever we have ... Once again I beg , I plead , I sincerely hope that accept it with me and we know we can manage and be happy as a whole. Who on earth in this life doesn't have obstacle, financial issue or a not so perfect life. With all our strength, with all our hope and our hardwork, we can't get thru? Slowly we will step by step solve each issue together hand in hand.

I sincerely seek forgiveness from your family and also sincerely wanting to tell you let's work and get things solved slowly. Please .....

Heartbroken for uncountable days...

With love from me to you...

2011-07-26T22:26:00.001+08:00

Parklane with bf @ lan shop -_-''''

2011-05-20T13:57:00.002+08:00

Bored! Gastric pain! Fucckkkkk!!!
My life is full of shit is in a mess again. I wonder how I wonder why. I'm just so restless. I need to distress !!! Seems tat I'm just a trash in certain one's heart ....

Dear god, please I seldom pray! I know it's my bad when times are freaking bad I will then pray! I just want things to go smoothly. If ppl are unable to accept me at least tell me but not treating me like a fool.

I'm down really down. Emotionally instabled .

I want to get drunk again:)

2011-05-14T21:06:00.005+08:00

14th May 2011 Saturday , 9.07pm

It have been such a long time i touch my blog... Stress up at work again! I wonder what should i do...
Having some funny thoughts again =p ... I wish to go back to direct sales i guess... I can say that i totally fail in telesales. I've yet to succeed in it , struggling day by day. Demoralize day by day! As time goes by, i feel sick!

I wonder when i will be able to stabilize on my job, what is my career? Studies, have done nothing to it till now. Money is not coming in but yet spending more than ever. Stress is an excuse he said ! Stress, is something i add on to myself. It's how i handle it, i have to overcome but not let it overtake me he said. If day by day continues to go on like this i will be dead. What is really wrong with me? What is the real reason i always fail? I want to vent many things out and most of it are related to my job. How am i suppose to not talk about my job to you when i basically only have work life all 5 days a week and home on weekends ? I understand most of the time our conversation is about my work life but as for now it's only my job that comes across my mind. That is the most important issue in my life. I can't afford to lose my job neither to get something lower paid by this.

I really need to distress. I need some healthy activity with you as well! I can't take it when i only get to see home walls every week. I really think that it will help us more in many ways as well.. Alternatively, you can bring me out for a drink as well. I've never get a chance to really have a good chill out with you. I really need some alcohol in me! I need a ice chill beer man!(It's about time baby for a drink) The weather have been so warm and humid. It adds on to me to be pissed and irritated.

I wonder why i blow out easily so often nowadays. Something must be really going wrong in mee!!! I really need some chill out place for some nice drinks and relax . My first choice will be a beer garden .! I wouldn't even want to choose a place like pubbing. I guess i just need some live band, drinks, ciggy, you and fresh air.

Bring me out of my sickening life will you :)

2011-02-04T21:48:00.001+08:00

Yawns...!!!!

Finally got back my charger frm mybf!!! My phone is down basicallyfrm yesterday till now =p .. Happy!! Sweets is having his MJ session at Jian Sheng house. And here i am using his com -_- ...
Baby get tired faster ok! =p so i get to play too !! hahahs ...

Once again Happy Chinese New to everyone....

2011-01-22T02:09:00.004+08:00

Yawns! Just finish doing my nails-_- at this time?
I can't get to sleep! So stress up:( I've got a feeling my time with sweets will be getting lesser ... And my love for you is deeper than ever again! Gosh! Sweets your glad to hear this isn't it?

There are things we said that we wanna work for:) I'm glad to hear that! And hopefully my new work place can also be in a position to help out more.. I will strive hard there ! No matter how thick skin I must be , how irritating I must be but I will still try getting people to sign up cards:)

I know u lovely me lovely lovely me:) ... I just can't wait to see u soon and spend timeless time with you....

I love you sweets! Night ! Your always in my heart alright:)

2011-01-16T14:24:00.001+08:00

Fan broke down -_- Luckily sweets get one for me already~! Gonna go collect it later..
Yawns so warm yet so tired. I wanna see you so much ;( hais ! I just to build my own home and space. Just me and you . Thats all. I want to feel home again ;(

It seems to be my dreamt ...

2011-01-11T11:27:00.002+08:00

Lot 1 got pastamania baby , bring me eat on thurs after work ok ... Promise ?

My days with ANZ is getting shorter my new place will be with HSBC and is coming real soon.
Honestly, I'm scared , nervous , confused , arrrrgghhh the feeling is kinda messy. My days with ANZ is just shortly coming to 8 months. Beside my job, i love basically everyone there. Bad people, good people are all there. But good are more.... I'm gonna miss you guys!! KOK HIONG! Our big brother.. Fovever also cannot forget this friend de.! Alex, my boss! Resign liao . :( But we will meet up soon kk =p RT ppl. Such dear colleagues. :( Kok Hiong, i might be going over earlier . How my farewelll party change date ? hahaha

Fulfillment guys, i will miss you all too =p hahahs the Whole office floor la! Miss all of you all alright =p

Yawns, off in lieu tot reject so later gonna take MC =p wahahahs . Its Milo time..!!!

2010-12-30T20:27:00.004+08:00

WOW.

Seems that i didn't blog for quite sometimes again =p That shows i'm busy ...-_-"""
I love my LAZY BF and is missing my pretty boy BF -_-""" Sometimes quarrels ... Is it really me at times =p Sorry dearly ...

GOSH! I'm excited for tml =p We are going to yao wen's hs for new yr eve's bbq ... Wahahhas BBQ LEI! so long never bbq already. But in front of them cannot spoil image eat like one pig sia.. Gosh .!!! But sure eat alot luhs!!

Yawns i'm feeling very sick recently .. Giddiness. Vomit sometimes.! Headache.
See Doctor already =p Saying that it might be the weather and having some slight cough and flu to cause it.. Just wanna quickly recover. I like to be healthy! Can do much more thing =p

HSBC i'm coming =p Tio Shortlisted already... Happy yet scared. Am i up to it ? Hmmmmm

2010-12-21T21:07:00.004+08:00

Enjoy your rest k its raining also .. Nice to sleep huh!

Please la dude . Wake up from the idea alright. Scream and yell is a useless piece of shit stuff ok. You may phrase it the way you meant but i may not see the way it meant. I'm stupid again , i do not know how to use my wonderful brains to figure what it meant. I spoil every single thing! It's always me isn't it ? I don't get chance to get jealous or shocked about things like this isn't it ? Stupid alright.

Tear those off la alright. It is make of cold heart. I'm useless! I don't know what is nice for a present so i make such meaningless stuff.

Gd job . I salute you ... Shut the F**k up.

Bitch

2010-12-16T16:02:00.002+08:00

Really one of these days I will burst ar. I freaking won't want to do anything alright. Stop trying to take a inch when I'm giving more than a cm. Always want me to put urself in ur shoe and point of view than can you work your ass out of it. It's annoying ok.

Already freaking unwell! Shit la

2010-11-29T16:43:00.002+08:00

Hey guys. Free feel to spam me tat I'm a dumbass , stupid and no brains. Like what ya only act stupid infront of u ar. Since when other people will give me this comment. None really! You are the smart ass I know . Everything I can't outbeat ya. For god sake , you always want me to look at your point of view than what about me. You sick ? I'm having gastric pain here . How many times you see me gastric you cared? You sick i didn't care? Care you say nag. My pain is frm yrs till now I can faint with it u bother? You never even asked about my sickness . This sickness comes almost everyday . Only when damn pain than I msg you to distract myself . But did you fu**ing once reply!? You asked if I had my medication? All along I'm on medication you know? I just kept quiet right.

I dunno what u want at times

2010-11-21T19:40:00.002+08:00

Day 4,

Baby, changed already :( sorry i can't stop thinking of foolish stuff. ! I'm useasy ... I love you too much that's the only reason i can give.

I know you did not miss me after the first two days. I know just the first day you said all those wanting me to give you some peace and trust . But i'm sorry! I'm still going overboard. I msg you quite a number or times today and hoping you received it. I really hope your love for me still the same .

I beg you really no changes.!!! I see you change so much for me, things are going smoothly but please still continue alright . Oh my Oh my! Baby please. I hate begging you know but i cant stop myself for this. Way stressed up, fear ! oh gosh. Help! I'm so lost. Will you still hold on to me. I don't want to get lost anymore.

2010-11-20T19:50:00.004+08:00

Day 3,

I miss you like a crazy woman! I wonder why you sound different compared to two days back. Why ? Don't you miss me too? What is happening? Hais I'm really feeling uneasy ... You don't want me already ? Gosh!

Went downstairs to grab some beer for my aunt at the same time my ciggy. I was without my lense when i went down. After buying all the stuff while walking home i saw someone wearing white pants and top. It just look like your dressing always.! The built as well was similar to yours. I went a big round as i was going nearer , eh it wasn't you lar. The guy was wondering what is wrong with this girl i guess! His look was shock. I look down and walk home. I can't imagine that i look at everyone, and they just look like you. I'm insane ya.

Come back quick.! And tell me you love me. Tell me how much you missed me. How much you will never bear to leave me alone in singapore anymore.:( Illusion at home while looking your our pics and yours alone . I hold on to our gingerbread man and your burberry soft toy and felt you were by my side. You must be thinking i'm crazy and nah it can't be. But yes ! This is how much you meant to me. I love you bubby .

2010-11-19T11:58:00.002+08:00

Day 2. His still in Thailand! Wondering what is he doin? Was really wondering what u did last night... Colleagues saying so much thing making me feel So uneasy huh! Gosh!

On my way to holland drive for lunch now . What about you? =p
What should I do tonight? Psp? Drama ? Sleep! Yawns I'm really falling asleep again. Didn't sleep well again. What a nightmare yesterday ! Woke up and it was only 12.30am.

2010-11-18T20:43:00.003+08:00

Day 1, baby called me once he touch down to thailand. Worried and been having funny and stupid thoughts. Baby asked me to be confident in him and trust him .

Send him to the airport in the morning, wanted to have breakfast together but he wasn't hungry =p Knowing that he is so excited for the trip yet i'm feeling kinda down. First time he gone overseas. When he went for re-servist i wasn't even so upset. Hoping that he will be just a good boy =p Don't fool around ar ... Before i see you walked in to departures, you hugged me tight saying you love me and missed me already . Wanting me to wait for you to come back! I was really surprise and really glad you said all those to me. You told me you will be back real soon and i said i was lost without you . Even finding the mrt in the airport was a drag to me. You replied you will come and find me when i'm lost=p You told me you never once let go of me! You said you only have me in your heart.

I love all this moment when you say stuffs like this to me. Suddenly i felt i've really won your heart over and day by day without you knowing you needed me in your life. I said we can make it no matter what. I will only kiss you goodnight, will only hug you to sleep. You are always on my mind too honey .

You called me just down again, i told you without myself knowing i change my relationship status to " In a relationship" and sent you a confirmation . I told you that you may cancel the request but in my heart no i don't want. It's not about the public, it's about telling them you have lock me in your heart. Nobody is coming near me.! I know it's stlll childish having thoughts like this but every small little things is just way too important to me. Every small little things is wonders to me. I want every bits and pieces to be done to our perfect .

I'm always loving you till now and deeper each day . I can't wait to tell you every single day baby i'm in love you with , i miss you. You hold my hand such warmness today. Never gonna let me go you are telling me. I',m gonna delicate this song in my blog to you. I will dream of you tonight!

Honestly, i do not have any appetite to eat but i will still go eat a little. I will be always healthy and strong cos i wanna love you protect you always. If i do not have my health i know i can't do many things with you . Love me always ! Muacks

2010-11-16T00:30:00.002+08:00

How much more to be proven . What else more I can do ? I'm like a walking zombie . Will I be appreciated ? What should I do for the four days ? How much more I can wish for a happy blissful path with u? Is loving u a mistake? Is wanting u always a mistake? But I dun wish to stop and how much u know about this rather than saying I'm just talking too much.

I Care, I'm worried . I love, I'm paranoid. I cherish, I'm foolish. I hurt, I'm silly. I talk, I'm nonsense. I hug, I'm scary. I kiss, I'm insane. I hold, I'm afraid. I complain, I'm wanting to be blissful and not knowing how to express in the right way. I hide myself in the night, I'm facing lonely nights. I see, I'm freaking out with only seeing your back view.

Always siting down every night at home facing the wall, looking up to the sky , looking at the stars praying. Please don't ever change ur heart in my treasure box I kept it in me to disappear .

2010-10-28T14:58:00.001+08:00

Bitch about life! Yes you f*ing bitch my good . I never always get what I always wanted I kept quiet isn't it. You just want all my blood of me. If you still have the thinking that you have to treat me like how people used to do it to you, watch it boy ! I'm not a toy ! You wake up from your ideal and not me. I'm may not be the best but I'm best of myself . Always condemning me like no one business ! Gosh I wonder who is in the naive position.

2010-10-19T22:25:00.002+08:00

Weeee!!!! I've got 12 mailers that came back today .! But will it be only just today and no longer come back again .!? I truely need my submission for this and next month .! I need my renewal of contract ;( I'm afraid i can't get my one year contract .!

Can someone boost me up and motivate me to do more calls.? I can't believe i only contact two customer yesterday and one today . Worst still one of the customer i contact yesterdat was a stupid complain case which waste me hours.! I really need to do callings and have submission.!
The new system is up for my leads to come in and the system totally just piss me and my team-mate. I know it's a new system for us to make calls but they should either get everything tested well before they actually open to all channels. I don't know that does it actually affect my telesales dept but as for my team , it does. We call this cm yesterday and was contacted than it pop out in our leads today ! My colleague called this cm without knowing he did yesterday and got scolding=_=''' As for my case is, i remember puting nicely my cm as No Response for the remark and ended up my report stating i dispose the lead.! Oh my!. Second, i was just talking to cm and busy copying my cm info to my spread sheet and comes another pop out of a new cm .? They told me that if i am idle for 15mins yes it will pop out but for god sake i'm still with my cm on the line !!!! Data stating unit number turns out to be a date? Gosh .! After one Cm it lags for more than 5 mins? What else next for tml? LOLS. I need motivation!!!! I do like my emailing of cm in some ways. I'm getting some of the results!!!!

Gosh ~! Help . Someone make me call!!!!!

2010-10-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

Baby I trust you. Can do me a favour tml message me ok if free call me talk talk. But I tell you ok:( every quarrel we have only can make my love for you grow deeper:) no matter what put this to heart ok . I love you more than anyone could you will always be in my heart no matter what I do . Understand . I want to brighten up your day always I want to make you happy . I know I always do stupid things . I will learn ok. I really learnt my lesson I won't say break off . Cos I know I never wanted that . I hope you can bring me to meet your friends I want to show them you didn't choose the wrong person. I am the one. I know I can do it I have confident . I hope you love me deeply as well . I dun want you to walk out of me. I know as for you is the same . You need me too. Always say you can live without my nonsense all this in fact no you have live with it already , it has become a part of you. Baby I really always want to brighten up your day make you fortunate . Dub doubt me for all this . Truly sincerely I want you from my heart. I love you truely as well. You want me badly I know. I'm sorry for hurting you. You dun say but I know my hush always hurt you. I want to pamper you shower you with love . There is no second me in this world . Once in a life tine there is only one me:) I love you so much bubby. My honey bun. Let's put bad things aside and remember our good together . I know I always bring a smile to you too. Bubby remember what I said always?, your smiling eyes with your smile never fail to melt my heart. You always have that eyes and I'm so in love with it. Always keep it there for me and only me ok. Your always my precious one . But always tense to Hurt it. But remember when you feel hurt , I hurt myself ten times deeper. I'm really sorry . This sorry is not a normal sorry . Is with blood and flesh and tear. When I always see stars from my window I think of you. You are there to shine at me and when I feel the sun I think of you. You are there to give me warmth, when it rain I think of you cos I know when I'm hurt or sad inside your heart is like the rain crying with me. Please read this msg well. I hope my sincere words warmth your heart and give you more strength to work tml. Same goes to me when you see all those I mention is when I'm not with you my soul is there for you. Muacks have a good rest . I really dub message to disturb le just read and smile in your heart. I can feel it . Maybe to you is ridiculous . But I can always feel how your heart feel. Sweet , bitter, sour all can feel. My heart touches your heart and it is so compatible:) love you

2010-10-11T23:10:00.001+08:00

Trying to test my patience once and once again. Are you normal enough to think that it's not a very nice thing. Please la don't give me bullshit. !

2010-10-05T22:11:00.001+08:00

What do i want? Do i really know what i always wanted as well?

2010-10-04T23:20:00.004+08:00

Why must you always destroy my nice picture right after you gave me . The paint has yet to dry and you smudge it !

Yawns . I'm tired but yet someone didn't even tell me his not calling! I said so many times , if you aren't able to call let me know . Or just tell me you are tired and will be sleeping right after you bathe What's the problem with you ? It is just so simple ! Don't allow me to have hope in you calling and i sit down like a wood waiting for hours. Please be a little more considerate will you ? I have got not enough sleep as well . You know i slept for only that few hours too .! I know your job is tiring but my either. I have to face the computer for such long hours it hurt my eye and i get tired easily as well . It takes alot of strength straining my eye and support my back on my work-desk too.

I'm not waiting as well .! Sis is home why aren't she answering your house phone ? Gosh ! At times things just happen and making it suspicious. I'm sorry to say this .! But sometimes it is really hard for me to not get angry or pissed. You can say I'm paranoid . But i have been controlling already . Whatever it is, all this are all nonsensical stuff to you . Aside to you , i love you . But you make me so angry at times. I don't even know what should i say about the feeling . It's like fried rice.! Everything just throw in and stir fry .! So messy .
Good night to you then . Six months already .. Keep saying i never change this and that what about you lei ????? Haiyo ! Don't know la .! Bye .

2010-09-27T16:25:00.001+08:00

Looking forward for Monday work! End up I'm so tried now. Yawns !! My heart got a load off suddenly ? Weird used to be paranoid!

Again blogging while working!!! I wanna die ar! Nayhahas heading to hougang later ! :) tired everything also so tried :) woooooooooo

2010-09-26T11:13:00.005+08:00

Someone save me ! Tears rolling non stop down my cheeks in the morning! gosh . Why must you happily make my day and then mention those that stab my heart real deep stuff again . I tried to forget about it yesterday yet again today .

I'm like a zombie a living dead now . I don't know where i'm heading i'm lost . I feel like struggling stuff. ! I can't speak out to you ! I am a spammer to you now . I don't know what to do , i feel like shouting . I want to go somewhere where there is no one i just one to feel alone since i always do . I don't know who to talk to ending up myself always talking to myself here. Maybe i should make a trip down to the beach . Stroll along feel the wind also good . I need some fresh air to clear my brains.

Guess i really should move on with my life freaking stuck my head in my work load ! . I'm as well fragile and tired. It's not about you and only you . It's me as well . Since you can do such thing to me i face it . (WO REN LE) No longer having the part of the most important one . Ya true without my job i cant survive i basically got nothing . What you said were true la ! Can't work out find other people than get into another relationship la . But job cannot , if we lose it that's it . !
But lucky for me, i don't believe i can't get jobs outside and the prob now is i'm gonna stay strong at my current job . Earn my money have my life. ~ I will get alive dude . I won't get drug by you again . I'm awake . I should look straight and go further . All this you said is right . You are my role model .=p I respect you in some ways .

You will never get someone who just simply love you with don't know what reason and willingly for everything . I wonder why i did ? But Ya love is there. !
I basically run out of my mind . Sometimes i really wish to ask myself what is it in you i fall deeply . Maybe its god will that at my age at my time i have to meet you and unexpectedly falling deeply . Ok i accept it . I really learn many things from you . I should thank god for allowing me to meet you .

I realize love isn't everything in this world . Yes love may come out to be a help in certain period of your life . But without being realistic in life will bring you no where. So what we human being must do is not to put love in first place , you can't take 100 percents serious as it will hurt either party . I learn that i'm been always paranoid , sensitive , impatient . maybe many many faults of my turn out my past few unsuccessful relationship i didn't realize . But i strongly believe what is yours is always yours . What is not yours will never stay no matter what you do .

Time to wake up , stay fresh and start anew . Things will never be the same as wound will never heal that fast . This is gonna leave a scar in my life but i wont say its a ugly scar but a meaningful scar that i dont mind having it on me . It will always remind me for anything =p Its useful as well . Now i have to start healing my wound and protect it . I don't want any more salt water splashing onto it . And its all up to me as well .

2010-09-25T17:21:00.005+08:00

Today is the day she ever heard the "best" thing in her life from you . "Best of the best-est" It will never be the same .

I no longer have any words to put in . This is what you want anyway ! I've stop .
For now i don't know where i'm heading to . But those words are my worst nightmare , i couldn't even imagine you were such a cruel person that you would just spell all this sentence word by word to me . I won't be leaving you , i know i let you down in many things i should amend my mistake . Yes by having all these shit . Yes like what you said FUCK YOU .
Whatever it is , i will return what i have once done wrong. But look is this happiness , by taking revenge on me ? Or what ever so call your nice ex girlfriend done to you, i have to learn and in fact help them to swallow at once ?

I'm childish , but have you try looking at my better side . Wouldn't you be childish at times ? No ! I wont remember your mistake but you remember every single one . Even just one word from my mouth is wrong and that's it for me . Have you take a look at yourself ? Are you that worth it for me to stay on strong and love madness on you . Do i deserve something nicer from you at least . Compare and compare . ! Don't come telling me you are not . Unexpectedly , you did !
You told me you don't have to live with all these ? But did you give me a chance to think or maybe i don't have to live with these . Have you really gone back into your brains to dig out some stuff and then think what if i were the one saying all this and thinking of all theses shit stuff (as mentioned by you) . You always think of how you feel , what are those importance stuff to you and what ever it is i have destroy. But in another way, am i also going through all this ?

Not only for your end everything is just important and i have to agree with it. I have my importance in my life but whereas it might be a very different issue . Apparently, you are cruel . Your mouth is such bug at times! I'm retarded ? Might as well say i'm mentally disordered . ! Isn't it a better description of me . Have you ever thought you might be the one retard at times . Thinking that everything is just there for you , that i just automatically pop out in this world to be everything you ever wanted . Sometimes , i feel right at my end . Is it too much to feel that way ? I have my rights as well . But end of everything did i do anything silly . No I still love you as much .

I remember once i waited for you just down under your block . Due to my fault again .! You didnt answer my calls not even messages . I was like a crazy women doing crazy stuff waited for you there . I thought after i see you things might at least get better! ending up asking me to get lost and i have to take a cab home . But guess what ! I wasn't even feeling down (def sad of cos .! It was a upfront reject) but i feel ease . Because i saw you safely back to your house , i manage to at least talk to you awhile . You are back home in one piece. Everything was just worry .! Have you ever got all this worries in mind . No you don't . You have too many things that i dont mind being left out . At least i got my chance to be there for you . Every single quarrel , yes you said it is all cause by me . Ok just put it that every single quarrel i start . Everything is me . But if you really put all those words (not those bad words ) really the way you talk to me . It added on of hurt and pressure is much equal to what i have done previously .

Do you really understand how i feel at times .

2010-09-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

Nayhahahs!!!! Bored.... Miss ! Misssss! Misses! . But you Don't bother ! Eeeeee....
Yawns! Gonna have my dinner now=p HUNGRY!

2010-09-20T20:23:00.001+08:00

Yawns !
Back from work already! Just finish bathing and i love the feeling =p I feel so fresh ... Sorry Eric for not attending your birthday party . I heard there is BBQ too .! Owwwww .. Anyway Happy Birthday bro! I seems to know you for years! Since 16 =p .... hahhas

Went Marina Square yesterday with my cousin .! Arrgghhh the urge for shopping is there .. Yet only did some window shopping .! But i feel great .. Me and emily so sua ku la can! When we reach city hall as if we came from the mountain .! Kinda lost our way while walking to Marina Square . Just freaking long we didn't go out luhs ...
Yes Emily! Wait for you to come back from thailand we will go shopping and really shop! It's time man to add on more stuff into our closet .!! Nayhahhas.

Had dinner at Yukiyaki! Wasn't the best one but we enjoyed .! After that we stink with the oil and BBQ smell.! Gosh . =p Cost us like $53 plus .! Just for the two of us ? Nayhahahs . Dinner ended ! Headed to mustafa.! When to shop for a toy car which must be a D.I.Y and with the brand of BMW.!! Ended up going to an indian shopping centre for it.! Basically Marina Square didn't have it... Overall was tired ! But enjoyed =p
Looking forward for next meet up with emily ...

Again back to my love life.! Nothing much recently , not much to comment .! No comment . Just let it be =p . Me Me and the old Me ! .
Went for movie , a kinda unpleasant date . Seems like it's my fault for the movie.! At JURONG POINT. ! Whatever ! Some stuffs i heard there from him wasn't nice.! Especially the uncomfortable word. .. Ya Haunted Changi wasn't very nice. I wanted to puke when i watch .! The camera is moving here and there making me dizzy. .

Arrgghh really whatever.. Gonna eat . I'm hungry .And that's it .
The end of post .! Gosh .!

2010-09-18T14:37:00.002+08:00

Weeee its a weekend again ! I shall rest at home and watch all my drama .
Punishing in the night but shall relax in the afternoon . My head is bursting ya! I should let my kite fly higher and loosen the string =p As it's breaking soon .

I thought for the whole night , i should take things so hard. The more i do the worst it is . What for make things so difficult . I'm miserable already , it's your revenge already isn't it? Whatever it is i'm not gonna expect anymore things. See how my life things go if there is good stuff i take bad stuff i keep quiet isn't it better too?
Whatever is it i'm not gonna change for who it is . I will be myself =p Continue to have things happening like that i will get sick too . It wouldn't be always me . Don't trust me it's up to you I don't have strength to do anything. To be honest this is the most tiring love i ever have ! You want it to be whatever it is your decision .! I've got no say . But don't thing you don't make mistake . Wake up dude , not everyone can love a person like how i do . ! I'm not gonna love anyone so much anymore . You don't even understand my love when you say you do . It's all just making you look more mature me more childish .

Deep down am i that childish no .! You think you suffer and been through things that you think you can step me down on the floor . No , i have gone through things you have not too . And yes you might have gone through some i don't. We learn from each other but not only me chasing after you !

Whatever it is, its enough of me hiding. !

2010-09-12T01:18:00.003+08:00

Devastated !
I'm destroyed !
I'm hopeless!
Can just things get right for god sake !
I can't sleep again.. Always having trouble to sleep but nobody knows .
Am I abnormal? Why am I always acting weird . Crying for so much things till I can't stop at all .
My eyes hurt .

Can somebody just come pamper me like I am a princess for once . Ive lost feelings for much things . I really wish to feel it again.
My heart hurts , my eye hurts and my head hurts . Gosh what is wrong with me. What am I fear about . Am I just so desperate ? Or what I dunno I just want to feel love again

2010-09-09T14:49:00.001+08:00

I will no longer try and putting effort to be somebody!! Great job dude ! Really what a great nice picture you paint for me .
Thanks

2010-09-07T21:16:00.001+08:00

What now ????
Hmmmm ...
Still don't know what's the prospect !

Leading me on ? Or just nothing ?
What should i do in life as well?

SENGKANG MEE SUA !!!! CRAVING ! HELP

2010-09-06T00:09:00.001+08:00

Hmmmm good night Singapore !!! Sleeping :) soooooo tried ！I want to get up on time to get my breakfast:D

2010-09-03T17:26:00.003+08:00

What the hell is this in the world . I don't seems to derserve anything good ... I feel awful I'm like a toy to everything single thing.
As and when when people feel like it they can do anything to me . When I want I don't get!!!

Really what the fuck .. Bloodly ass . I need to go along the sea side to shout fucking out loud .!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-31T23:39:00.001+08:00

I'm offically tired. And need a good rest .

Speak man speak . For god sake .

2010-08-30T22:28:00.002+08:00

Whatever .! I'm going to sleep soon..!!!
I have to learn to be dependent on myself . Not everyone will stay by my side always . I will stand on my own .

I'm getting stronger each day . Be it anot i'm trying my best to act stupid . But in fact i'm no stupid, i'm no useless , i'm no asshole , i'm no nothing . I'm myself !. Me , myself the one and only.
I'm stronger for what i am . With my own help .! I sounded childish i know .

But too bad i love being myself . I feel a little more free like this. =p

Whatever it is SAME SCRIPT DIFFERENT CAST .!

I'm craving for my sengkang mee sua .! anyone ? :D I'm starting to learn not what i want means i get . I start to learn whatever it is , it's life . Nothing will always come in your way .! Doesn't mean that you love the person the way you did , you can get in return . Everyone are different , love in different ways .

Whatever it is , love is not the only thing left in this world . There are many more other things for me to pursue in life too . There is always a stepping stone , a starting point . Only if we get it at the right time . Isn't it? I don't understand why am i telling myself all this , perhaps no one is there for me to speak out my mind .

2010-08-30T16:33:00.003+08:00

I'm walking alone ..walking down the road seeing only your backview .. Im desperately in love with myself . Can't give it I give myself :)
Busy but yet manage to get some time yet weeeeee wooooo... Nice =p

Hungry again craving for sweet stuff at last ... I'm so gonna get chocolates later on!! Just eat till I'm happy... Sooner or later.
Take me for whatever it is .. Everyone takes me for granted in fact.
Sick . Disgusted !

Back to work!

2010-08-29T12:12:00.002+08:00

Once again same thing happen from month to month.. I tell myself forget it , it's nothing special for the date ! It's just monthly routine and just a date . I will not remember all this anymore it's not something only like a routine so what's the point isn't it...

Looking forward for tomorrow ! Going to work is better than what I'm doing for off days ! I rather go to work and pass my time , at least it can fill me busy :) good luck in myself

2010-08-27T10:28:00.002+08:00

Happy 5th anniversary honey bun!!!:p
Same thing don't hope that you will remember anything as well=p But I just wanna wish you for happy! For the 5th !!!

Still hoping everything can continue the way we are right Now! Panic ! Scared ! That everything will suddenly change again. Yesterday I've got nightmare again remember I woke you up suddenly middle of the night.. Was about everything you push me away , throw me away and issue you disappear just like that ..

Happy yet still so afraid:p gosh!!! Anyway remember your food.

我爱你

2010-08-26T00:24:00.002+08:00

It's really unbelievable . I only get to know recently that I'm able to blog thru my phone:) what a sotong!$&@"

Gonna go to bed soon.. I know I'm trying to get real close with you recently and I really hope you wouldn't mind:) I just can't resist from throwing myself into your arms when you smile at me , talk to me, those seductive looks you gave, those innocent look you gave, those kiddy look you gave and like how you look like just now without your hair styled! You look like a little cute boy alright ! Till I can't stop myself from sayanging your head . Your smile till now still melting and melting my heart . My heart gonna disappear soon my dear! But I don't wish all this good times with you stop. I see you've change a bit to pamper me more , sweeter already I know . But please prolong all this. I don't want it to stop so soon=p

I still can't pull you out of my life at this moment!

2010-08-25T01:07:00.003+08:00

I admit I couldn't stop myself from reading your previous post. It's jealously again:) just because I love you too much .
I hope not because I love you too much you will just think that I'm not important and ending up to like a habit to have me to love you:(
I know you can't give me any status at all times but I hope you love me truthfully but not an false hope for me.

I hope that I can deserve the treatment that what a blissful couple is entitled to . I want to hold on to you always and always .. My love for you is something I couldn't explain to myself either . It's just a miracle I could fall for someone so truly deeply madly . I'm really out of my mind for you!!! I'm so lost for everything when I can't get you. But I know things are getting better now but I hope it's all not just a dream. I know I'm not a wife material of yours but at least try to prolong the time with me and I will be so thankful .

I love you.

2010-08-23T00:29:00.002+08:00

Baby came down to Mummy's place to look for me after work . I was surprise =p
Yet so happy!

He accompanied me for awhile before we went home .! I was also surprise bubby held my hand all the way from my mum's place to mrt , mrt to escalator. And than hugged me! hahahs .. I love the way we are now . So loving alright ..!!! I promise you i wont anyhow think ok =p ..

I love you Honey . Always do . Never stop loving you every min...

Your wifey still floating with this little happiness can .! She always want this to continue like every loving couples .... Hold on to me tightly i beg you.

Thanks bubby...

2010-08-21T17:34:00.000+08:00

Oh, hey, Deb
(Hmm-hmm)
Thank you for being woman enough to come
(Whitney, what's this about?)

I know he's leaving me for you
(Who said that, who told you?)
That is true
What is he telling you?
Could it be the same things that he told me?
(He told me that he loved me)
I heard that
(He told me I was beautiful)
Uh-huh
(How did you know? How did you know?)
Because I played the scene before

This is a retake of my life
I was his star for many nights
Now the roles have changed
And you're the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera, now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now cause it won't last
Same script, different cast

What you're saying could be true
But how can I take advice from you?
(I'm not hating)
(But I wish the one before me would have warned me too babe)
Don't say no more, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
(Uncover your ears, girl)
I'm not listening, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
(But I know you hear me)
(Maybe my reasons are wrong)
(But I know that you believe me)

This is a retake of my life
I was his star for many nights
Now the roles have changed
And you're the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera, now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now cause it won't last
Same script, different cast

It's your fault you didn't love him enough
(That's the problem, I loved him too much)
(And when you love him he becomes unattracted to you)
Oh no, he's changed and I'll prove you wrong
(No, you won't)
So go away leave us the hell alone
See, he loves me
(He'll hurt you)
He'll stay with me
(He'll leave you)
For sure, for sure, oh

This is a retake of my life
I was his star for many nights
Now the roles have changed
Now, now, now, now, now, no, no
Now the roles have changed
Have changed, and I'm the leading lady in his life.
Lights, camera, now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now, because it won't last
No, same script, different cast

This is a retake of my life
You were his star for many nights
But now the roles have changed
I'm the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera, now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now, cause this will last
I'm the future, you're his past

This is a retake of my life
I was his star for many nights
But now the roles have changed
And you're the leading lady in his life
Lights, camera, now you're on
Just remember you've been warned
Enjoy it now
Enjoy this now
It won't last
I know it will last
Same script, different cast, oh

2010-08-17T23:52:00.000+08:00

Back to my life. ! =p I should wake up from dreams and start anew .. :)

I should move on .

2010-08-16T21:42:00.001+08:00

Pics are always by myself! aRrggghhhh

I miss you , you know?

2010-08-10T23:42:00.000+08:00

What else more i can to do to stay safely secured with you ?

2010-08-07T14:21:00.002+08:00

07th August 2010 Saturday , 2.22pm

Have not been blogging for some time. i miss you baby .
Thanks for holding on to me .
Hold your hands put to my waist , hugging you tightly .
I hold your face kiss on your nose , saying i love you
Hug you from your back , saying dont leave me i need you .
Looking into your eyes saying the same old sentence i've have been saying for months. Your smiling eyes and your smile melts my heart and to add on with something , each time i see this my heart still beat fast and faster . I'm still feeling shy while saying all this and am blushing .
Bringing your hands up to my chest and ask baby feel . Can you feel my heartbeat . ? The beats are special . In nice rhythm .
Sometimes you cant feel because you left my heart with you . Sometimes you return to me and allow me to feel the dancing rhythm of my heart beat .
But i rather not listen to all this i rather you cant feel my heartbeat so that its assured that my heart is with you .

baby are you reading ?
Don't be cold to me i'm sorry .
Love me more and i give up everything .
I'm prepared for things that i mentioned to you in msges . I really know it's hard but i believe i can make a change in my life for everything and sacrifice . You are the one i wish to marry i said . I'm really prepared to see a big change in my life .
You are mine and remember its not only just mike . It's mike and angeline .

I love you

2010-07-26T21:21:00.003+08:00

26th July 2010 Monday , 9.21p.m

Another 3 and a half hour to 27th July 2010 .. BABY i wish you here a happy 4th month anniverersy .
Quarrel have been going on recently too . But same thing i fall deeper again for you =p . I get to know where is my weakness too . No doubt quarrels i said many hurtful and nasty stuff but end of the day i do think back . I'm sorry honey . I still love you as much . But you ? i don't know but still hoping things will resume like how we were again . Dream of it everyday and night . In the day i will day dream and think of all those, in the night when i fall asleep i dream of all those . Overall i'm happy with you and i love you for who you are. You are special as you are so different from others . Maybe this the reson why i cant let you go either. No doubt the werido things you do , don't express yourself to me , don't even have some sweetness that i always hope but sometimes you do surprise me by your action that i'm totally addicted to you . I BECAME A DRUG ADDICT AND YOUR MY SWEETEST DRUG !

Always remember no matter how we quarrel , i'm always by your side , i always love you and i always miss you =p .. Believe in me . I truly love you .
Will you remember our 4th anni ? =p I wonder when you will give me your full attention . But i hope i can cling on you like a monkey and swing around you like a small kid . =p I love your company and not wanting to lose it ..

I love you baby .. My sweetie bun . My bubby . My everything . Always be by my side .

2010-07-20T21:19:00.003+08:00

20th July 2010 Tuesday , 9.19p.m

Mailers Mailers out in singapore , anyone i did sent out before . Please come back =p It is gonna be end month soon again . I need my submission =p !!!!!!!!!! hahas .
My submission cannot make it la .! Oh gosh!

Used to bring smile to me , now ? nothing at all in a day to make me smile a little .

But talk with mama last few days,i felt better. Thanks mum for sharing your experience with me =p . I will make myself lucky , fortunate, happy and will take care of myself =p . I will bring myself happiness mum . I will try . Even if its tough i will still try .

2010-07-17T22:32:00.004+08:00

17th July 2010 Saturday , 10.32p.m

Looking at my phone many times today . No phone calls no messages till now ! But strange thing is i do still look at my phone and yet don't have the feeling of anxious or thinking why isn't him messaging me . Glad about it also , wont have to think too much either . This two days i'm alright with it . I didn't even think of why this and that even when i'm at work .
Be it anot he wants to still treat me as someone important to him , who he really loves wholeheartedly . It is up to him to decide not me .

I guess i have to start stressing on my life now . Income most important . I want to be someone that i'm able to support everything myself . My roof .? how ?
At times i feel like getting someone to talk to . But end up talking to myself here. To him ? nah . I don't wish to be a burden to him . I can cope i guess. I old enough to think and do anything too . I don't want to be a person that later people might think i cant be independent. And too dependent on him ..But i want to . But many things restrain me for that . I want a life man .! =p I want my love yes . Success in it ? I don't know . I want my career life . Success in it ? Obviously no .!! I want a family . Yes i do have but i want to create my own handling it and having it so much different from what i'm having now . And i know i'm gonna make it . But i have to work it out with my Mr.Right . =p Still have another few more years for me to fight for it .

Been watching my taiwan drama the whole day . PSman . Hahas Handsome men in it. =p
Oh gosh i;m hungry . But have go nothing to eat but am lazy to go down to grab food. Hmmm what shall i do .!!! Lazy Lazy .
Looking forward for monday to work .! Hopefully there's mailer coming back . Yesterday NONE! What is this .!!! I want to get my cross-sell com! .Sadden .

2010-07-15T01:07:00.002+08:00

15th July 2010 Thursday , 1.07a.m

I'm a useless freak . Just a freak ! Why can't i control my emotion at times. Why am i like that ? I hate to be like this either . :(

Can't get my work done properly even in my relationship i cannot manage well . Only know how to talk , complain and expect more . What else can i do ? Isn't me such a useless person ? Demanding ? Hais . I didn't mean to also . You mean so much to me like i can become crazy crazy .
Everyday i only know how to afraid of this and that . I guess you are sian of my doings also . But i will change . No matter how also must give it a try.

I still put all those memories that you once nice , so sweet , caring days on my mind. What you told my mum =p I will also bear it in mind. You have dare to tell her you loved me . I should trust you but no doubt you . I hope things can remain like how we would! I believe it is still just that you don't know how to express yourself only . Be it anot i'm deceiving myself, i choose to believe in our relationship . Please give me the strength and courage . Only you are able to save me from being so paranoid , crazy , useless . I still want to be the one you once told me , bie let me think that you are a person i wish to marry ..

Husband to be . <<< Like how i tease you and said this word=p . I'm still deeply in love with you . I guess you don't doubt my love to you either =p I'm really hoping for the day and waiting for the day that you can do , say and express everything infront of me .
Why i say i wish for that . Means by than ar you are very comfortable with me already . Everything we also can talk liao =p . Erm you understand what i mean ? I don't demand this from you so don't misunderstand . Is just that really the day come ar is really when we are really openly , comfortable about everything between the both of us .

Just want you to know that . I want a loving love life too =p . I'm also just a tiny girl in this world who needs that . I guess all of us in this world hope for that too .

Your smile with you smiling eyes is still melting my heart till now .

2010-07-12T00:58:00.003+08:00

12th July 2010 Monday , 12.58a.m

Drinking my awful slimming tea now .! After that off to bed.
Will you please remember tomorrow help me go pay my NEA fine?

I'm so sick and tired already . Many things are not to my concern already isn't it ? Been telling myself telling you the same old thing. And i always tell myself stop already . No point asking and asking making you change or what. Waste my breath .! Been telling myself all this but end up didnt stop . Still much concern about all this .

But i guess this time round i'm really stopping.Neither do i have the strength already . I may be a disappointment to you . But have you thought that you may too ?? Not only you are the one have lost of trust in me , disappoint and Etc..... I'm also a person that have my own thinking.

You don't like me to nag , i wont nag anymore . You don't like what , i will just sit and see. I wont say anything anymore . But don't come telling me that why i'm like this nor no concern . I will concern everything in a different way from now on . Don't always have the mind set that i have to be the one to put in everything , in any direction . Like what i said , whatever happen to you in the past that can make you give this kind of treatment to me is bullshit. I'm a brand new person to it .

You might say i'm overreacting than show it to me that you will change like how you told me . I will give you time . But show me how much you loved me how much you want to spend your life with me and shower me pamper me with care , concern and tender love . Not being cold to me ..
I can love you so much but you can never expect that baby , I may get really tired one day but really give up . But still i'm always trying . What about you ? It hurt . And you always never want to understand that .

I can honestly tell you , you have already said umpteen times of words that hurt me deeply . But have you think back why sometimes i'm hush to you ? I'm a person with blood and flesh . That just hope her boyfriend pamper her like a princess. Don't be cruel to me anymore. I can hang on . But Hang on for how long ? Will you just treat me tenderly sweet and loved ?

2010-07-07T22:24:00.001+08:00

It is just so hard to smoothly meet up with you nor smoothly get our things right .!

2010-07-07T21:52:00.001+08:00

2010-07-06T22:57:00.001+08:00

Nth much ! I'm just tired

2010-07-05T22:02:00.002+08:00

5th July 2010 Monday , 10.02p.m

Each day passes so fast .. Everyday i panic.! For my submission . I see our leads is getting more i panic . Wonder how to cross sell more of my products. I'm afraid .
I want to earn more , more , more!!! Argghhh!!! Stress. Today no mailer came back .Oh gosh . What about tomorrow ?

Lao tian bo pi!. Give me more mailers for my submission =p .. Help ! Help!. Pray ! Pray . =p

Once again i miss my honey bun .. Wonder when will the day that he will be seriously down with me ? =p Hee. When will the day that he would take me as a wife material kind of girlfriend. ? When will just everything for me can settle down smoothly . Everyday only know how to fear hoping the day won't come. That he wouldn't leave me . Everyday think of all this can just occupied my whole day add on with work also . Thinking of how my life will be in future , how to earn more money so that i wouldn't live in burden . Everyday is thinking . I just want to get a man lean on him work together , walk the path together , share with me , stress together , help one another . ? Am i still asking for too much ..

Everyday i'm thinking , are you the one. ? Are you really the one worth all my love , my pain , my sorrow , my happiness, my everything . Each day before i fall asleep tiny drip of tear role down . And again because i kept thinking how . How to be a little more perfect for you to give me abit more attention each day , a little more love to me each day , a little more sweetness to me each day , a little more of you with me each day , a little more kiss from you each day , a little more of you holding my hands each day , a little more hug from you each day , a little more words to conversation each day . End of each day my answer to myself yes you are always the one. I just naively think so .! It would really help being this way .

Am actually so tired thinking of all this each day . But it can't stop . Your the one i believe can stop it one day . But only when you really into me wholeheartedly . Ya i know i'm greedy , selfish . But isn't love meant to be like this ?

Cheers to myself . Everyday i feel like a freak talking to myself .!

2010-07-04T23:23:00.003+08:00

4th July 2010 Sunday , 11.23p.m

Yawns. Gonna sleep soon .. Not waiting for any calls =p .
Tomorrow have to reach office by 8 ! Oh gosh . That's early . Sian sia.!!!
Miss you but you don't know.
Love you but you took me for granted ...

2010-07-03T01:28:00.000+08:00

Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go.
You have made my life complete and I love you so.
Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill.
For, my darlin', I love you and I always will.

Love me tender, love me long, take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong and we'll never part.
Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill.
For, my darlin', I love you and I always will.

Love me tender, love me dear, tell me you are mine.
I'll be yours through all the years till the end of time.
Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill.
For, my darlin', I love you and I always will.

2010-07-03T00:51:00.002+08:00

03th July 2010 Saturday , 12.51a.m

I'm missing you already .
When will i feel so loved by you again ?
When will i feel so protected by you ?

I thought i would have let go much of it already . Thought i could just be normal and not to think so much already . But seems that i'm getting useless again . Seems that i'm starting to be unimportant again . Why? Why? always let me have this feel ?

Hot and cold Hot and cold from you . I'm getting sick soon . Later turn out to be fever =p .
Just can't you be just a normal guy either . To be just nice . I also want to feel loved , pamper like a princess. I just miss those moments. I cant help it . But i just miss those sweetness we've got .

I love you and needed you so much .
Can i say this . Don't leave me alright . ( Sounded lame but because i'm in love )
Hold me tight please ( Sounded stupid but because i'm in love)
Kiss me tenderly will you ( Sounded desperate but because i'm in love)
Always hold on to my hand will you (Sounds like i'm like a glue but i'm in love)
Hug me tightly (Sounds like i'm just way too sticky to you but i'm in love )
Love me truthfully , Love me tender , Love me hard . ( Because i'm way too in love with you )

2010-06-28T21:38:00.004+08:00

28th June 2010 Monday, 9.38p.m

Just finish bathing =p .. Today once again i forgot to save my excel sheet .. I lost most of the customer details i called today . What a day .!!! I didn't expect my excel to hang !. Oh GOSH !
What is wrong with me .! Didn't get my submission done well . Yet cust details also gone.

Help .!!! need to hit my target for next month . I really need. ! Need to earn more money!!!!!!!!

Stress! But do you know?

2010-06-27T21:39:00.001+08:00

27th June 2010 Sunday , 9.39p.m

Yawns.! Feeling restless. Looking into my phone for quite a number of hours. No calls , no messages. Lols. Used to it already la.

Having bad headache again , i really don't know why . But recently i have been having headache for no reasons. Hate it alright. Tomorrow is a working day again . Good also , don't have to stay home and do nothing for the whole day . Erm i guess i'm putting on weight again ? Oh gosh . I can't take it man . Lazy to lose weight also .Oh my!! Should i go get my slimming tea. Lols. But am so lazy . Quick ! Pay day in few days time. ARRGGHHH!!! tired. mentally tired =p

2010-06-27T01:19:00.005+08:00

27th June 2010 Sunday , 12.57a.m

It's the third month already . You remember . =p
I just wanted a nice good night message from you . Forcing myself not to say anything , ended up myself resort to begging .
I look stupid . I'm silly . Remembering some stuff that you might think it's really silly =p . But what to do i am silly huh . =p

Happy 3rd month anniversary , to you and me .
It's a hard 3 months . But it will continue ya.? Not up to me to decide how long it gonna last and how well it gonna be . Leave it to fate . I'm starting to leave everything to fate. Being naive once and once again . Hoping that way will give me my happiness.

I love you . I love you not . I love you , I love you not , I love you .

I just received your message . But i'm sorry to say that and i have the feeling that if i wouldn had mention anything about it i guess you wouldn't reply . I always wanted you to take the initiative to do some stuff. Not hoping that you would be like any other people. But please do understand i take some stuff really seriously . Even its just small little things. Can i drift apart i think . But nothing makes me able to do it . You are like a magnet. It holds me tightly to you . I don't understand why . I understand nothing is perfect . But i hope my love life is good .

But still all i can say is ever since that incident things have really change . It will never be like how you were after that day you confess to me downstairs your house. You didn't realize only . But same thing , i 'm always waiting deep down for the day . You might say that i'm not content enough for what i'm having now . Be it anot i'm greedy . But my greed are those sweet times i had with you . Is it too much for you ? Like saying that surprise kiss you gave me downstairs my house? Missing the feeling, and hoping to taste that kiss again too much ? But you told me , i'm never happy enough with what i have . This are small small things that i can't forget . You set a trap i fell into the trap . Can't i just even think about it . The ever 1st hug we really hug while watching harry potter . You may forget all this and it might not be important to you . But it really mean alot to me . All this always keep me accompanied when you are not with me .

When can you really understand that saying all this will do a pinch in my heart. You always tell me you understand what i meant . But i really want to ask you again . Do you really understand ? I don't care how many hurtful relationship you been through , what kind of relationship that left you a scar in your heart. But i'm a brand new person , a new person to you , a person who loves you like there is no tomorrow , person who wish to protect you . Please don't ever take any of those to be a reason to not treat me well . I'm not saying you don't treat me well . I'm just stating some examples and what i hope to tell you . I know i'm long-winded but i have way so much things to tell you everyday .But i always don't have the chance to tell you end up everything to my blog .

I know i'm really greedy . But i just want you to give me 100 percent attention . Maybe that is too much .. Erm maybe 60 percent , 70 percent >? I don't know . Just want your attention . I love being like a small princess in your arm . I like to (sai nai) in your arms . Like it when you hold me like i'm your treasure . I don't like it when you can treat me warmth today but cold tomorrow . Like what i said, sometimes you don't feel it but people esp me beside you can feel you . YOu don't realize but i do . Like how you can ask me bie why today you so cold to me . And you will only reply me Ok nvm Good .! What is this baby ? I don't know want to laugh or what sometimes.

Have you realize sometimes your words are abit hush .! Cool abit can bubby ?

Stop here i guess before i irritate you again . Good Night . And Good night to myself .

2010-06-26T22:33:00.001+08:00

26th June 2010 Saturday , 10.34p.m

You ask me if I love you and I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you on what you say or do
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer, still trapped within my truths
A hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you and drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through and hold you endlessly
At times I understand you and I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
and I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters, still searching for a friend,
A brother or a sister, but then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

2010-06-25T22:27:00.003+08:00

25th June 2010 Friday , 10.28p.m

At last its a Friday . Tomorrow and Sunday are my off days .!!! Chill relax ar!.
Two more days. I doubt you will remember =p . hee . But aiya like that lo .! It's still you . What to do . Meet lesser ? To make you not sick of me ? I miss you ? But what to do ? I have nightmare do you know ? It's so cruel in the dream ? But what should i do ? It's only a dream ? Where are your hugs when i needed them badly ?

I don't know . I'm i really yours ? Or it will just flash off like a dream after i wake up . I hope not . Your weird . But you are the one . Believe it or not . I have make up my mind to just ok relax. Chill .! What is yours can never run away . What that doesn't belongs to you , no matter how you grab how tight you hold or how you tie it up . It will still SNAP and off it go .!

So just relax angeline . Chill .Cool .! The previous few post after you read how you feel ? I wonder how i wonder why . ? I'm just over reacting .

But WHOOOOOP. you have forgotten to call me after you bathe AGAIN . Gooda bye everyone . Off to enjoy my movies.

2010-06-24T01:50:00.003+08:00

24th June 2010 Thursday , 1.51a.m

Reach home not long ago , just finish washing up . Gonna get to sleep soon ..
Been with bubby for this two days. Watch movie the whole day . Went to a doctor to get my M.c just now too . Was on m.c , feeling weird when i'm not in office. Having those feeling that arrrrr i didn't get my job done . But bubby accompany me the whole day .

I like it when i'm with him . When i am with him , while watching movie my mind wander off without even paying much attention to those movies. In my heart i was thinking , when will i get a chance to live with him . Everyday first thing in the morning i wake up i see you , before i head to work i get to kiss you goodbye . When i get home i do the house chore , get food done for you and then i will see you open the door and i take your socks you put your shoes nicely back in place. I'll get your towel to allow you to bathe and then sit down together and have dinner and enjoy movies or television program . And than after that we will chit chat while i'm clearing the dishes , we smoke relax and then off to bed and i get to hug you tightly to sleep . And your huge arm over me to protect me and make me secure to sleep . So i wouldn't get nightmare .

I'm hoping for the day to come . To my palace you build in my heart may come true in life . Love you good night .

2010-06-21T23:20:00.003+08:00

21th June 2010 Monday , 11.21p.m

I think the best thing ever happen in my life living so many years is god ever let me to get a chance to know you , to fall in love with you , to start a relationship with you and to let us have the process of thick and thin in future . I never regret falling in love with you and will never want to let you go . No doubt it's only coming a few months we are together but i never ever loved so tiring , so sweet , so sour , so blissful, so tough , so fortunate , so bitter , so unpeacefully , so peacefully , so jealous, so not trusting yet later on trusting one.

So loving yet so sore . But till every end of quarrel thank god we made up . We are so spicy at times , as cool as slow as the waves in the sea. Sometimes burning hot . Sometimes freezing cold.. Sometimes it is in black and white sometimes so colourful . So not loving yet super duber in love with each other. We can throw each other aside yet missed one another like there is no tomorrow . We scream and yell yet deep down we are so sweet to each other. Giving each other nonsensical attitude yet so jealous over things around us. We act as if we were so strong that show each other the hard side as if it's ok without each other yet so much care and concern .

But our love for each other has always been there. It never stop even a second , am i right my dear ? feel that we're never meant to be but yet meant to be . =p Telling you that i loved you last one month is because my feelings for you are strong but now i assure its not just a crush just feeling strong . I'm truly madly deeply in love with you .

I see you ! You look restless today , tired!! Hopefully my words give you strength . Please keep your promise. I want to be someone in you . To take part every part and parcel in your life. That's my dream . I love you .

2010-06-20T01:52:00.003+08:00

20th June 2010 Sunday, 1.52a.m

Still can get to sleep . I don't even know whether have you reach home . Are you drunk ? But indeed the conversation we had on the phone was nasty yet later on nice. What you have promise me. ! Please can you fulfill it? It's time that i want to be myself together with you ! I don't want to be myself without you . I don't want to get giggle at , laugh at. I want to be proud of myself for once. Being proud having you around . I want to get it start that people will start to be envious over we but not the other way round . You promised . You said after meeting up with my mother it gave you a decision that me i'm the one.! you are able to face. and together with me to face the world. Thanks for telling my mum you love me. And i know i wont forget that . You told me no matter what you are always there for me . No doubt you don't say but you want me to know that you loved me so much . All this i will always bear it in mind . Not to worry about that alright . But please . In order for me to not forget all this , be sure you don't forget loving me . missing me , caring for me , holding me tight .

I'm still waiting for the day that you will shout out loud . Chiu Angeline is my girl , my lady , my woman . She belongs to you mike ang azhar but no one else . And she will tell you this, she's not ready to let you go . She's not ready to blow you off. She's only ready to let you in to her palace , She's only ready for you . And she's only ready to love the one and only you .

2010-06-19T13:26:00.001+08:00

19th June 2010 Saturday , 1.26p.m

She've got a msg last night

i love you bie don't ever forget that ok.

Her reply to this msg , i would never forget that unless one day you forget loving me . =p

2010-06-19T01:39:00.002+08:00

19th June 2010 Saturday , 1.39a.m

Went to look for my mum today .!!! I enjoy my time with her and hubby! Hope you do enjoy yourself too . I hope we both can bring her out soon .

My mum said something very right . Love is pain . Blissful , fortunate too . I will learn from every steps.

I love you honey .!!

2010-06-17T22:19:00.003+08:00

17th June 2010 Thursday , 10.19p.m

Submission Submission .!!! I need my submission . Oh Gosh I just check my follow up excel sheet at work . I've got more than 80 acceptance for my sub card !! But only 5 mailer came back .Oh my what is this !! Stress. !!! I need to perform ! My performance .!! Where are they .!! And my calling process number is way too high . It's not a very good thing for me .!! The higher my process number go the harder to hit my com!!! Stop calling will i .!! Lols but i cant .. Everyday have to hit so many calls.!!

Oh my .!!!!! I want my commission full full ya!!! God bless me!! GRANNY bless me .!! hee.
Hungry Hungry!.. Leg so pain .!!! Paper cuts on my hands again. Everyday at least must cut one time if not my hand doesn't feel good huh!!! Irritating. Annoying papers.!!! AND ENVELOPE .! But i love my job!! . Lols. It keep me rather busy than having nothing to do . =p . At least when i'm at work for that so many hours i don't have to think so much about my personal life stuff. As its stressful!! I already have got one most stressful think ! NUMBER 1 in place. ! Just please everything go smoothly alright . IT's fucking ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! i want to shout out loud .!!! Just shout .!!!

2010-06-16T23:48:00.001+08:00

16th june 2010 Wednesday , 11.49p.m

Yawns.!! Hungry!! heee. Blogging at baby's house. Staying over for the night . Hmmmm tomorrow i have to wear my same clothes to work . Oh gosh ! Hahas ! was a last min plan to stay over .. The rice is cook and i have finish bathing ! But you are sleeping so soundly . LOLS but so adorable ! Hmmmm ... Wake up and eat your food darling. hahahs . ! At last i get to stay over again .. So long since i stayed over and accompany you . Loves .

2010-06-16T00:34:00.004+08:00

16th June 2010 Wednesday , 12.35a.m

Everything is going fine again . Bubby said nothing's change , we are still the same . Thank god you reply me this . I want you to believe me with your heart . You have succeed in letting me have the thinking you will be my soulmate , The person i wish to marry . What about me ? have i succeed in your request ? I thought it through , I love you for who you are now . What's past is past , its pointless bringing up the past. We are living in the present looking forward for the future. Remember the show we watch together at your house .? Yesterday is a history , today is the present tomorrow is a gift . We will work things out once again like what you said . Step by step for a better future for a better romance , for a beautiful day . But we are still like how we were from that day you confess your love to me. I always remember how you did . It will always be kept deep down in me. Its a gift from you . Its a assurance you gave me .

I broke down and cry when i saw you smile at me outside the taxi . Sad was because i let you down , tears of my fear that you never give me another chance to amend , tears of the fear you will throw me away. But tears of joy for your smile because i saw that smiling eyes from the very first day i saw you that melted me straight away . I will still keep my promise to protect you , pamper you , love you and treasure the precious you .

I want you to do it to me too . I'm fragile yet love so strong for you . Until now i can't stop tearing but my tears now are tears of joy . I'm telling you real firm now . I want you to appreciate these tears i drop for you . It's tears of our love that is so precious . My most beloved one , I'm telling you this once again . I never had a dream come true , you create a dream in me . You allow me to dream for a family with you , you are my dream , my present , my future , my love , my strength , my power . You make my dream come true . You made everything worthwhile .

I love you my prince. My king . You've create a small stable , sweet , lovely palace for me . It's like a fairy tale to me but it's so true . I want to always protect this palace for us . When one day you are tired , stressful , having problems or just missing me , thinking of me .Or just wanting to relax , the palace door is always open for you to come in and lean on me . I will always be taking great care of it for you to come in anytime to feel homely , warmth . You create this and i will protect it . It take both hands to clap , as well as our romance . We must work together and give each other the happiness and i know i can do it. What about you ?=p Always remember i will always be there for you . I'm your mountain , i'm your shoulder , i'm your pillar and i'm always the lady , woman or girl waiting for you to come home to your palace and pamper you. I will hug you with my imaginary huge arm to protect you from anything . It only belongs to us .

Imagine me without you

2010-06-14T23:37:00.000+08:00

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

I can't imagine me without you

2010-06-14T23:18:00.002+08:00

Yes i know you tried to improve yourself to me honey . I appreciate it well enough . I'm scared i'm paranoid . I trust you alright . I will pamper you ok . I will love you will my whole warmness heart. I know many of my post bring a smile to you . I touch to hear that too. I won't scare you away but i will make you love me more than ever . I know you love me . I can feel it . By your assurance i'm peace . I know you wont throw me away . I know you want me to make you feel i'm someone you wish to marry . I will improve myself like how you did too . We will still hold on tight and strive for everything including our future . I promise you ok . I wont lose you neither you will lose me. I love you baby . My love have always been there. Never once change . Its all angry words of my .! I treasure you .

i'm looking forward for our outing tomorrow .
I miss you .
Never get the right word to expression my feelings to you . But i know you can feel it . My hubby . My precious , my soul , my soulmate. You are the one i assume ! Everything i wont assume anymore but i assume you ! i assume you my right one. My only love . Make it my true love =p Make it that i will never let you go .

Imagine me without you .

2010-06-13T22:27:00.004+08:00

13th June 2010 Sunday , 10.28p.m

Just finish bathing . But have not remove my make up ! lols... Don't know if baby is meeting me . Hmmm i'm tired . Sat and Sun also went back to office to finish my stuff. Haiyo!. He haven finish work? Having team meeting ? Also never update me . Tell me quick . If not i want to rest already .

Sick Sick Sick . Hate having flu . And now my voice sound sexy .! SO man also . Hmmm i miss my Baby!=p

RANDOM RANDOM !!

2010-06-13T02:04:00.002+08:00

tears is always rowing down my face. I'm really to the extend that i don't know what to do already . I can't breathe. I hate all this pain . I hate all this . You doubt my love and that's it . Yes i can't accept . I feel so useless. I had enough.I don't wanna cry everytime. I hate it . I just want a sweet one but i cant. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... You just dun understand me .!

2010-06-12T01:00:00.006+08:00

12th June 2010 Saturday , 1a.m

Comment once only must delete post . ! Really are you just so scared that people will suspect i'm your girlfriend? There is something i always wanting to ask! What is bothering you about me posting at your profile . What is it bothering you that you just just so afraid that from your profile people get to know that you have a girlfriend . What is wrong with you .! And that freaking post wasn't suppose to be an jealous post. I just didn't explain to you just now. It is just some words to cheer you up when you are in reservist .!

What is wrong with me ?Can anyone tell me ? What is wrong with my face ? or what's the problem with me having a boyfriend like you . I'm pissed really pissed . ! Why must it always when i'm starting to fall for you in a new beginning day i will always see unhappy stuff ? You didn't realize i guess. It's always to fall for you differently every single day . Why can't we be just like normal couples that proudly to whatever thing openly. It's not that i want to compare . It's not that i don't love you deep enough . But it's just that i'm starting to envy people . Really I have started to really envy people. But at the same time i DON"T WANT TO LOSE YOU ! Accept it i know in order to keep you by my side . But i really can't stop myself to envy certain things. I just want to have a smooth , sweet process and i want you to be proud that you have me . I want you to announce to the world yes Chiu Angeline is my girl , his wife to be . I don't know why but i just want it this way . I can't help it . I just want it like this. Be it a not i'm childish having this thinking .But i just couldn't help it. I just cant wait that you only belong to me . Selfish yes i am but still the same old sentence . I can't help it .! It's just all in my mind and heart. YOU YOU YOU!! Than how ? I feel ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't you just proudly hold my hands on the street .!! Proudly take pictures with me! Proudly do whatever thing a couple could so openly!. Not that i want to show you off to people hey i have a boyfriend. I just like it that way . I like it when we can openly go on a date. ! Openly have fun . Openly have our romance .! Openly do romantic stuff. I know i'm asking alot. But I want to feel the process.! I know you will tell me not happy change bf la . But you think i bear to .

End of the day i still love you much, i know you still make me smile and make my day!. I'm sorry that i have this thinking. But really bubby , i enjoying diggingyour ear for you , picking you up from work .Im glad your reservist is over . I cant bear to not see you for so many days. It's awful.

2010-06-10T22:32:00.001+08:00

10th June 2010 Thursday, 10.32 p.m

Arrgghhh! I was so careless today at work !! I forgot to save my excel sheet! I lose most of my data calls today. I will lose out so much mailer . OH GOSH!! EEEEEEEEEE stupid me ... Hais ..

OOOOOOO quick quick !! It's 11th tomorrow . I can get to see my honey bun soon!! He is going to finish his reservist!! I'm so happy!! I'm so looking forward for it .. !! 5 days at last its going to be over soon!. Thank god. OH gosh Oh gosh! i'm just so excited.!!! =p . Love you my dear . Muacks .

Ok off to paint my nails =p

2010-06-10T00:32:00.002+08:00

10th June 2010 Thursday , 12.33a.m

Now i know you actually took the effort to read my blog .
Yes we quarrel . But after which i felt deeper and deeper for you .
Thanks .
I appreciate it alot.
My feeling now is , i miss you badly . Never wish to leave you!
Sleeping lesser for 15mins, 1 hr , 2 hr, whatever it is doesnt make difference . But without you , talking to you , teasing me , quarrels, loves, hugs, sweet talks and misses make a very big difference .!

I love you my boy!

2010-06-08T23:55:00.003+08:00

8th June 2010 Tuesday , 11.55p.m

Yes i'am posting everywhere about this . You just told me you miss my everything. And i'm so proud of it . Because you are the one who said this . Not anyone else but you . I'm posting all this for you .! I miss you my dear sweetie pie.. counting down to three days more .

2010-06-07T20:15:00.001+08:00

7th June 2010 Monday, 8.15p.m

Just reach home. Having my dinner now, baby went for his re-service le. I miss him already. 5days huh! oh my... Poor boy! my poor boy=p.. looking forward for the 11th when he finish=p love you my dear

2010-06-06T12:44:00.004+08:00

06th June 2010 Sunday , 12.45p.m

enough i guess! But i still appreciate though. You were once my dream .But dreams had shattered ... I'm still an unwanted child after all

I learn many things too . I don't have hard feelings on you .

Goodbye my love .! It was deeply loved but never meant to be . I miss your voice , I miss your face , I miss your talking heart , I miss your hands , I miss those eyes and i miss your tightly hug .

I will keep you deep on in my heart . I will just push it real deep

Goodbye. Laughs! she's just silly to fall in love .

I remember when I still believed the things you said
Never would have thought that this would come to an end
How was I to know that you had another Someone New

I recall the days I loved you in a million ways
Suddenly you and me
From friends to History
I realized my trust ain't coming back no more

Cause My Love For You
Will always last eternally
You are In My Heart
I loved you from the start
Baby it's hard To believe
That You and I were never meant to be

Does anybody know this feeling of despair
When you really love someone
When You really care
It's hard to walk away
When I really wanna stay with you
Does anybody know it tears you up inside
When you tried to decide
Between what's wrong and right
Gotta know for sure
My trust aint coming back no more

Cause My Love For You
Will Always Last Eternally
You're In My Heart
I loved you from the start
Baby it's hard to believe
That You and I were never meant to be

2010-06-04T22:58:00.002+08:00

04th June 2010 Friday , 10.58p.m

Tomorrow off!! At last =p Monday have to start calling customer and clear leads already . Nervous eh . Now baby i can tell you loudly ! I will miss you alot when you go back for re-service. Honestly my heart only have you. What rumors, what people comment about us i don't bother already . With those words you said just now .. But i want to hear more ! More ! More .

I will be a very good girl wait for you to finish your re-service . After all its only a week right =p .. I love you my honey bun . Muacks . Your always on my mind . Missyou!

2010-06-03T21:20:00.002+08:00

03th June 2010 Thursday , 9.21p.m

I just feel awful suddenly!.. Is it mood swing again ? Oh gosh! . EEeeeEEE!! I just need to got my line soon!... Gonna ask my aunt to lend me her name to sign my plan already i guess.! My cousin unable to get the friend to do the student plan for me ... Ohmy Ohmy !!...

Please my income please.. Stable soon can!.. I hate being so poor . Where is my money and how i wish i could spend like how i did in the past .. Wish me luck on sales . May all bad things go away as soon as possible . I hate being tied down with all this cash flow problem . Eeeeee!!!
My boyfriend ? nothing much to post abt ! Its just routine same old stuff. Nothing new is going on .. =p Just wonder where is his smile and smiling eyes. I guess its the fact it have been quite sometime i really look into his eyes properly . Guess i'm just to into my job recently . Just want to quickly get my access done and do my sales .! He is going back for re-service soon . Hmmmm how much will i miss him for that 5 days 4 night ?

2010-06-01T22:13:00.004+08:00

1st June 2010 Tuesday , 10.14p.m

I see ! I saw ! I seen ! I look ! I looked !
They are so sweet . Envy ! OH gosh! Look at those sweetness in them . Oh Gosh saw those sweetly photo taken . AwWwW! Nice .

Good night everyone . She's tired .

Suddenly i'm wondering ! Where are those smile with the smiling eyes you've got . It have been quite sometime i really look into your eyes .

Laughs ! Am i just silly?

2010-05-31T22:48:00.002+08:00

31st May Monday , 10.48 p.m

Chest has been quite uncomfortable for few days .. Pain on and off . Sometimes a bit hard to breathe . ! OH my what is wrong with me ? Tired.. I'm just restless and i don't know why . After blogging awhile more i'm going to sleep . I don't want to wait for your reply already .. Tired .! Got to work . Don't want later i not enough sleep again . Ask you help me see my FB pic never see right ! EVIL~~~~ =p .
I'm still wondering what to wear to work tomorrow .!!! ARGGHH everyday stress about formal !! Don't have really have much formal wears . Sooner or later people will start saying : Oh my Gosh Angeline why aren't you changing clothes . It's the same all the time .. OMG !!! LAZY LAZY ..

Laughs ! Am i just silly?

2010-05-30T16:27:00.002+08:00

I'mBOred ...

To think back , those days were fun ..!! This is only a few of it =p

2010-05-30T13:28:00.003+08:00

30th May Sunday ,01.28p.m

Tomorrow work . Off for three days already ! Getting lazy already . Oh my !.
Hmmmmm i miss my hubby~ . Guess his at work now . Haven call or message me till now too , i wonder he eaten his lunch already ? I don't want to disturb him , i know his working hard to hit his sales target . He is working at compass point today , hopefully he would get to pack my sengkang mee sua today . Urging for mee sua there for so long .! Arrrgghh vinegar alot alot , pepper alot alot , chilli alot alot !!! wahahas! I'm drooling already .

Hmmm feeling restless after hearing some stuff past two days . Wondering which side is right . Even if really they did talk about it why that lady would mention things like that . Its so bad to do that . What if someone says that to her also ! How would she feel . Its not a very nice to to gossip about things like that . I cant pin point either as i did not witness anything . But after my conversation with honey bun , i decided to believe him again . But how things go i don't know , i just hope he doesn't betray my trust . I'm a human being too . I can't take in too much nonsense either.

But i know he did his part to explain and allowing me to understand his situation also . What i hope is i don't want to witness anything unwanted for me . Ya still gonna cherish you , still gonna love you , holding on to you , still your smile with your smiling eyes melts my heart each day .
When i don't get to see you , i have the imaginary image of you . Sometimes i think , am i crazy or what . I don't how much you believe what i say but its freaking me out too . I just can see you in me your smile . OH gosh . I don't know what is happening with me . Its up to the extend that i can see your imaginary image when i miss you too much .

Laughs ! Am i just silly?

2010-05-28T20:08:00.001+08:00

OK i love you hubby! i will be there to protect you ..! You just promise me whatever i have mentioned!!! Don't you dare breaking it .. BLEAHS

2010-05-28T01:35:00.004+08:00

28th May 2010 Friday , 01.35a.m

Happy 2nd month anniversary hubby .. Which is yesterday 27th May . hahahs. Thanks for saying you love me once again . Quarrels have still been on .. Hmmm but still after one quarrel and another i'm gaining more from you .

Public holiday !!! Don't have to work later on =p Sat and Sun too . Wahahas .. good three days off.!!! Hmmmmm .. Hoping to get all my access done asap .!!! I wanna do some work! I don't wanna just slack around.. I will be lazy sooner or later .. Oh my .. Weather is killing man! Its so warm . Just want it to be abit more windy .

Random pics again! When is my hair growing back . ! I'm waiting . GOSH!

2010-05-25T20:46:00.002+08:00

25th May 2010 Tuesday , 8.47p.m

Yawns ..!!! Tired sio . Finish work on the dot today . Nothing much to do in office either , haven got all my access yet . So yet to hands on with my work . But still did some follow up calls and a few supplementary sales . Hmmm was late to work today . ! Thank god my colleague help me punch card. Wont do it again . Don't want to sabo them and my team manager . He still can laugh laugh tell me eh next time don't like that le la. ! oh my where to find such a good team leader . So i must work hard to repay their kindness=p

Yuppi back to the square one i miss my boy . But what to do , not able to meet up . Don't know when than meet up . Hmmmm don't know la .whakakakks! Going to bathe liao than rest bahs . tomorrow cannot late already . Nothing to blog about also . No mood to type already . Hmmmm ARGGGHH what to wear to work tml . OH MY OH MY

2010-05-23T00:47:00.003+08:00

23th May 2010 Sunday , 01.59a.m

Yawns ... Tired but cant get to sleep either . Haven bathe yet hahahas ... Went to north to meet my aunt and my younger cousin just now to sign my plan but end up didn't .. later after i go pray my grandma than go sign bah ... Getting a iphone i guess. But plan quite ex.. Hopefully my bad time will be over asap.. I'm struggling really . OH my OH my .!!!
Honestly i miss you again . Hmmmmm hais.. But again i think you fall asleep again . Tired ? Waited whole day for you . Good night .

ARRGGGGHhh!!! Faster go work don't need think so much .... Keep myself busy the best ...

2010-05-21T22:36:00.002+08:00

21st May 2010 Friday, 10.32p.m

Just reach home . Leg is so freaking pain now .. OUCHW!!!!!! Went to orchard to fetch baby after my work than came home . Hungry now .. after bathing will cook maggie =p .. How to survive i'm wondering now .. to pay day is so long!!! I'm currently happy with my workplace =p

I'm confused with certain things at times.. Its so nice that its too good to be true .How much more i can feel this happiness. How long will it last. Will it be just a short one ?? I don't want it to be a short one . I'm still afraid . I want all this to be truthful. How long more before i can stop all this fear ? I want to stop those feelings. I just want a true heart for me to go in and stay in for a very very long time . I don't say forever but at least before i leave this world =p .. I want it to be you . I getting way too deep into certain things. Its hard for me to pull back now . I hope i could so i wont be so sensitive in so many things. Will he only belong to me and his family . I want to be the one and only one in the heart.. That's it . Just hope that its really so good to be true and really true =p

2010-05-19T21:45:00.004+08:00

19th May 2010 Wednesday , 9.46 p.m

OUCH!!!!!!!! i accidentally poke my eye with my chip off nail . Oh my luckily nothing happen .. I don't know why suddenly my heart feeling weird .. Just weird . suddenly empty ?!?!?!?!Don't feel like knowing why either . Its just weird weird weird .. Hate this kind of feeling ..

Starting work tomorrow .. I'm getting nervous . Thinking if I'm able to adapt to the environment there. Have to reach ANZ at 8.45a.m . Oh my that's early . Thinking what if i don't do a gd job there..

OH my Oh my .. Mind wandering around again . I just hope for you to wish me good luck and some words for my new job . I'm nervous do you know ? Maybe with your words i will feel better. Never mind i know you are sick. Good luck to me . Starting anew from tomorrow onwards . Jiayous !

2010-05-18T03:28:00.002+08:00

Please let me have hope in you again , don't let me have doubts in you again .. I'm starting to feel secured please let it go on and make it to the maximum .

Bubby get well soon .. I feel you just now .. You are getting warmer and warmer . I'm worried .. I will get you some cough mixture .. Even if cough better le just put at home for in case ..

2010-05-17T04:16:00.002+08:00

17th May 2010 Monday , 4.18a.m

A regret haircut! I miss my hair !

I promise my bubby i will make him happy ! I know deep down in your heart you have promise me that you will treat me nicely make me happy , adore me , love me , care for me , pamper me and what ever you do to be lovely to me. I also promise that i wont say break up like tat again . I'm sorry . And also bubby thanks today for letting me know how much i meant to you . I'm really happy . The way you answer me i love you too baby . That sentence is the best part rather than the one you said i do love you thats why bla bla bla ... I just want to hear that three words. hahas. Thanks for everything . I hope the sweetest today will still last a longer period =p
Again i'm sorry for my mistake . Later i go buy liang teh bring go vivo for you ok . Muacks

2010-05-16T01:05:00.006+08:00

~yes no matter how much we qarrelled , you still did an awesome paint work in me like what i said in my previous post~

Where is my confidence i asked myself . Where is the trust in myself i asked.
I secretly asked someone , she kept quiet for a second and next after tat she told me this Angeline i miss your way of expressing yourself in the past . You were never lack of confidence , never lack of courage .Even when a guy bully you , you will just stand up for yourself In chinese also she said heaven not scared ground not scared . whatever you want you just get it done. And said angeline just be yourself once again . I think back , yes that was how i were . And i know i will be strong enough to stand up again .

I would not be wanting to fear on so much thing anymore . I really think my whole day thru . I know i can make it . I am a girl coming a lady that ppl will be amazed of . And will make you never regret choosing me as your girlfriend . I will def success in what ever i want to do . I will not be the one hiding in a wu gui shell anymore . I WILL MAKE IT IN WHATEVER I WANT . Gonna stop whining and complaining about why his like this why his like tat .. What i want i will just make it happen . What i wish him to be i will make it happen ... What he want me to be i am trying to be one . I will just do everything by actions. No longer will have words coming out from my mouth .. But i guess if no choice i will pour out thru typing . =p I rather face this page sometimes. Its so much easy to say things out rather than speaking .

2010-05-15T21:42:00.002+08:00

15 May 2010 Saturday , 9.43 p.m

1st pic from the left. Granny i would never see you laugh like tat again . I love you Grandma .

Found another few more picture while i was cleaning up my cardboard.. All our pictures are so hard to be found due to me moving places to places. I'm so afraid i will misplace all of them .. They are so precious .=p . When we out family be back together again .

2010-05-15T02:43:00.002+08:00

15 May 2010 Saturday , 2.44a.m

Just reach home... But suddenly feel like blogging straight away.
Bubby !!! BABY ! Sweetie bun !. I want us to be strong . What you said about the sentence , it was really hurting . But i know i wasn't very nice just now either . I will improve myself ok . In whatever it is . I will try . I can't bear to leave you . Just now when i said you are so confident that i wouldn't even leave you but you give one face i saw . That face was suppose to be what ? I guess you are trying to say ya right . Actually you are scared isn't it ? I know i'm right =p

I still haven got a chance to move out and stay with you . I don't want to shrew things up . We suppose to work hard together find a place and stay together and learn how it is like to have together always and how to support each other out there. We haven fulfill many things. So we must still hold on tight ok . I know you are more a action rather than words person . I will try to accept everything so do you ok . I love you so I'm willing to do it . Just now is one of the quarrels that i fear most . I thought i would have just lose you for good . But things still turn out alright and you said it didn't affect us . Like what i said I'm only left with you , i wont just let you go easily . I know I'm weird . But you yourself know how my life is , so i guess i will be abit weirder la .

Your the reason I'm strong . You are way to precious to me that sometimes i wanna to be very careful with how i deal things but it turn out sour . I will use my ass brains to think properly before i say things =p . And bubby i'm not wasting my time . I know what ever time i spend for you is all worth while . So stop saying that i'm wasting any of my time on you . alright bubby?

You are still my charming boy with your smile and your smiling eyes melting my heart each day . That can never change the fact . i have already lock you in me . You're still the one that i always wanted . Thanks for letting me know you . It will never be the same if i have not met you .
You fill my life with colours . You did a very nice paint work on me .

2010-05-13T17:41:00.002+08:00

13th May 2010 Thursday , 5.41 p.m

~This whole week i felt awful~

Aunt was talking about my mum again . I wanted to see my mum so much . But i just can't bring myself to cal her . She was asking me if i went to see my mum on Mother's day . But i didn't . I didn't call ,i didn't wish her, i didn't see her . My mind is bursting ..

Today will be the fourth day i have not met baby . I just did it on good will . I just wanted to see you . I miss you . This few days I'm getting more and more paranoid . Like what i said in the previous post. But i still can't stop myself . This whole week I've been thinking alot. Recently I'm really afraid that baby would leave me . I don't understand why but suddenly i have all this feeling. I can't stop myself from thinking. I'm just afraid . Suddenly i will wake up and think is my boyfriend still with me . Waking up with tears for nothing . I think i really have got nothing left but him . He makes me feel that he is the only one i can trust the one who will be beside me . I'm so scared when i wake up the next day he will be gone . I feel so unsecured of my life now . I feel I;m like hanging in mid air . This whole week i feel awful .